Falling for you!

Friday Sept 7

Last friday I headed outside to get my big girl off the bus. I had my little man in tow and baby girl in the ergo baby. I fell off the last step. The baby hit her head and I hurt my foot but in all honesty I didn't even feel the pain of my foot because I was so worried about her. After some help from my wonderful neighbour and some observations I decided to take her to Emerg. She had a small swollen bump on her head along with a little road rash from the gravel and seemed a bit out of it. Better safe than sorry. Everyone else was concerned about my foot, I was concerned about my baby.
When we got the emerg they checked us in right away (lesson being if you don't want to wait, fake a childs head injury) and they decided to look at my foot. I had a huge lump so an xray was performed. I hobbled to and from xray carrying the baby in her carseat. within 5 minutes the doctor returned to tell me it was not broken. elevate, Ice, Compress...blah,blah,blah. I have 3 kids under 4! I hobbled out to my car and i hobbled into my house.



Sunday Sept 9

On saturday I was planning to head to a camp reunion from the summer camp i worked at as a teen. this wounded foot would not rain on my parade (mother nature did that for us). I hobbled around, it hurt but I have a pretty good pain threshold so I sucked it up (and let Bacardi numb the pain).

On monday night I spoke with emerg who told me that radiology did see a break after all. they wrote me a prescription for an aircast and told me the ortho doctor would call me asap. Of course the only place in Kemptville to get an aircast is a monday or friday joint so I had to wait another day before getting it. by now my foot is a hot, purple, swollen, mess!


Tuesday Sept 11

So, I have now had the air cast for one week. I have 3 kids under 4 so I am on my feet all the time and whether I have enough air or too much air pumped into it, I don't know. Have I seen a doctor since that first night in emerg when I was told it was NOT broken? NO! Now I have a red lump on the side of my foot and my toes will not bend.

Yesterday I spent an hour speaking with emerg and my family doctors office looking for answers. the hospital and emerg treated me like an annoyance and this whole situation has been handled like I am being sent to a specialist for a superficial issue. No urgancy on anybodys part. I finally got a call from Ortho today telling me I have an appt next week. NEXT WEEK!! After giving her my opinion on the health care I have received she had nothing to say except sorry there is no clinic this week. Come on people, I have a broken bone that may not be healing properly since it was 4 days after i went to emerg that i found out it was broken and you are telling me 3 weeks later I will see a doctor, ANY doctor!!



Monday Sept 17

Gone are my plans to play volleyball since it starts tomorrow. On hold are my plans to go to Colorado snowboarding since we would need to book now. and most of all gone is my faith in my local health care system.




Stay Tuned...

He Loves Me, He Loves Me N..no, he loves me!

Parc Omega Aug 2012

Everyone who has met my 2 yr old boy knows he is a mama's boy! Has been since he came into this world and we locked eyes. I often think if you look that term up in the dictionary you will see his picture. But nothing prepared me for what we are battling now. Separation Anxiety one might say (although that has not been formally diagnosed) that has gotten so bad that I cannot even leave a room without a full blown melt down.

Case in Point would be the devastated child upstairs right now.

Three weeks ago, his big sister started school. She leaves every day on the bus and we go back into the house to start our day. Two weeks ago he started nursery school (or his version of hell on earth). Nursery school has been a rough go, lots of tears and waving arms and flailing feet that often result in hits and kicks. He loves the idea of nursery school, just not the idea of doing it without me. Whether this has set off some fear of being abandoned by his mommy, I don't know but it has definitely caused a glitch in our loving mother-son relationship and will likely cause a glitch in my loving husband-wife relationship since daddy has to deal with him during and after said fits or it will get worse or start over.

You see, It has come down to me not being able to put him to bed. I can't even go in kiss his forehead and tell him I love him, let alone snuggle him with a song without either a)moving in permanently or b)causing a full blown melt down. I am not the primary person who puts him to bed at night as I am often nursing the baby, and this doesn't seem to be an issue for him but if i was to go in after baby is gone to bed to kiss him good night, I might as well bring my pillow or a box of Kleenex with me. Tonight I heard daddy say  that I would kiss them after the baby was gone to bed so i wanted to follow through. thinking he would be good, I did so. big sad mistake.

I love snuggling him so much (not enough to do it all day and all night) yet now I can't carry him or snuggle him without committing to it 24/7 or causing a painful meltdown. Sometimes they get so irrational, such as yesterday when he stood 5 feet from me screaming for me but wouldn't come near me, that it makes me wonder if it is something more.

anyways, that's my rant on this. Anyone want to offer some tips? and keep in mind I have two other kids, one of which is a 5 month old nursing baby.

What's my Secret?

our mudroom!(mommy and daddy
have bins in the other cupboard beside.
Where will be put Alexa's?

Lately I have been asked a lot how I keep such a tidy house with three children under 4 running around (okay one isn't running yet but she sure does have a lot of stuff). So here it is, the only time I will reveal how I do it, my secret to it all. Are you ready? Get a pen and paper handy.... Here we go... I can't believe i am telling you this...


We pick up!

We pick up towels after bath. We pick up clothes after getting dressed. We pick up toys after play. We pick up dishes and food after eating. and we pick up coats when we walk in the door! BUT, i don't just run around picking up all day. I also enjoy several cups of tea, I nurse the baby several times a day, I play with the kids, I sit and watch the kids, I cook dinners, I do laundry, I watch TV in the evening, and I sleep a good 6-8 hours every night.

I will be the first to admit that I am a little more anal than other people when it comes to my house and I do not like things lying around. I also have been blessed with A LOT of closets and cupboards. I also am obsessed with storage and making homes for everything. While some people shop for clothes, I get excited to check out the Canadian tire flyer for deals on storage units.


Playroom. Small bins for small toys
and CT wire shelving unit for bigger toys

I  always take the extra 2 minutes to run around and put things away before going anywhere because obviously if a burglar comes in while we are gone, I would be mortified if my house was a mess but the real secret is that everything has a home and therefore picking up literally can take 2 minutes.  I also have instilled in my kids that they don't get snack until they pick up their toys, and they don't get to start another major mess (like playdoh) until they pick up whatever they were playing with before.


Playroom

Now don't get me wrong, I am not a tyrant and my kids do make major messes every day that i eventually clean up after they have gone to bed but that is another part of my secret. We start fresh everyday. I feel like if I stay on top of it and it doesn't get too out of control then it takes way less time than if i have to spend hours or days cleaning up a toy explosion.

Craft Supplies in Dining Room.
AKA Craft room when we dont' have
dinner company. the stuff she cannot
access without mommy (such as paint) is
in rolly bins in the front closet.

I am often teased for my silly habits such as cleaning the dishes while I cook and sorting the laundry before hanging it on the line but all these silly habits prevent me from having to spend hours doing cleaning and tidying and laundry sorting and folding. the dishes are done right after we eat since we will only have plates to clean and the laundry goes from the line to drawers since I sorted it before hand.



basement toy area  clearly we don't play
down here much. More wire shelving units.
When on sale there were less than $20.
and can be built to any dimension desired.

So there you have it, my secret is out. I don`t spend my whole life tidying, I just tidy as I go. If I pass a toy or two on the ground, I scoop it up and put it away. that takes two seconds but since i was walking past anyways, it doesn`t actually interrupt my day.

So don`t make fun of me, and don`t come into my house afraid to make a mess, My kids do it all the time and since I know where everything belongs it is usually quicker for me to just put it all away after you leave (or while your still here, but i am working on that :) )

A Hefty Situation!

OK. Here it goes! I weigh...no wait, I am not ready to announce that yet! But the fact is I weigh about 20 lbs more than I did before I had kids.

I did pretty good with my child bearing days. I gained a butt load of weight when i was pregnant with my first and lost all but 4 lbs before having my second. I gained a small amount of weight with my second and lost all of it before 6 weeks post partum. I gained a healthy amount with my third and still have 15 lbs to lose, add to that the 4 lbs I didn't lose after baby number one and I have 20 lbs to lose!

I have always battled weight issues. I can confidently say I have never been over-weight but I have been a bit heftier than I wanted to be. I think I was my heaviest in college when i was dating a guy who loved going out for beer and wings every single night. My sensitivity to my weight peaked when I was in my early twenties and I adopted a very unhealthy lifestyle to be happy. I got my weight down to the lowest it had been since early high school and I felt great. Then I met my now husband and I realized that the efforts I was putting into maintaining the weight I was at was not worth the agony that went with it because I found someone who loved me regardless of whether i had the extra 10 lbs on me or not. So i let go of the pressure I had on myself to be super thin.

A few years later I was starting to feel like I had not only let go, but let myself go and I had to do something about it. Regardless of whether I logically knew i wasn't fat or not i still had the self-esteem issues. However this time I wanted to do it right so I joined weight watchers on April 1 2005 (yes, I still remember). I was rigid! I didn't let myself eat anything with an ounce of fat in it and I lost 20 lbs before summer. I enjoyed this new me for less than a year before i put a good chunk of the weight back on because I went back to eating normally and allowing myself simple indulgences.

Hmmm. Don't I sound like Oprah?

So I lived the next several years feeling mediocre. I knew I wasn't the slimest of all the people but I was content. I was a bit self conscious about my appearance but nowhere near enough to deprive myself every again. In 2008 I went to DR with a girlfriend and I felt OK. There where a few pictures I wouldn't post on facebook but ultimately I was ok with me.

Then I got pregnant!

Being Pregnant and then having a post-pregnant body made me realize that I was not fat at all. I had a different build than my friends and I would never be 110lbs or even 120lbs ever again. I looked back at that picture of me, the last picture taken of me in a bathing suit before having kids, and i realize that I was not fat at all! Isn't it funny what your mind can make you see.

I successfully lost the weight from my first baby with the help of weight watchers a second time so I am trusting in the system and I have signed up again. my weight goal is my pre-babies weight. So essentially, that picture above. I have realized that anything less than that and I cannot maintain it so why bother if it doesn't bother me.

Now, almost 3 months post-partum from my third and final baby, and I am ready to get back into my jeans so I signed up for weight watchers online. my decision to sign up online was essentially based on me wanting to get started and the Kemptville WW wasn't until Monday night. It has been 3 days and I feel better already. I plan on doing it right and I am exclusively breastfeeding so I get almost double the points so i don't expect the weight to fall off but I am confident in the system and if I don't give into my around the clock cravings then I will succeed.

Because "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"!

Looking ahead



Chez Crepeau

Today I turn 33! In my adult life I have achieved a college diploma and a University degree, I have had 3 real boyfriends (one became my husband of course), I have had a dog and a cat, I have traveled to Hawaii, Germany, Mexico, Dominican Republic, Australia, and New Zealand (twice), I have been to the winter Olympics, I have worked full time for the past 10 years,  I have owned two cars that I payed for myself, I have owned three homes, I have been bungee jumping, I have seen my father pass away, I have gotten married, and, of course the most important of all, I have had three beautiful children.


The Crepeau's

I am sure there are important things I am missing but the point is I have done a lot! I still sometimes look at my life and wonder "Am I old enough to have all this?" It seems like the past 15 years flashed before my eyes and now I am an adult. It took my third baby for me to finally feel like an adult.

So now, at 33 I am looking to the future. I am in my forever home and I have a complete family. So now what?  Now that I am done giving my body to God for the creation of the next generation I have a head full of plans, a bucket list of sorts.

So in the next 10 years I want to:

An African Lion Safari
An all girls trip somewhere hot and beachy
Take my kids to New Zealand to meet their Kiwi family
Build an all-seasons sun room addition onto our house
landscape and put in an in ground pool
learn to play the guitar
Get in super-duper shape
Go on a snowboarding trip once a year that involves flying somewhere
Get a digital SLR Camera and take amazing pictures of my beautiful children.
Join the Curling Club
Buy a Cottage
Get a dog

OK. I think that's an ambitious enough list. Wish me Luck!

A garden to live off!



It is July 1st and our garden is producing heaps of food already! Thank you Mother Nature!

Gardner Guy Working Away. This is pre-weeding

Every since my husband and I have lived in the country we have had a garden. We started out small and amateur but now we have a massive garden full of vegetables that I never thought to grow in my backyard garden. Now I have to make sure I give full credit of said garden to the gardner himself because aside from one night of weeding and using the food, this project is all him. The Photo doesn't even do the garden justice, it is a piece of art. I love looking at it from the upstairs windows.



Our First time growing broccoli. The coliflower is pretty awesome too

So growing in Garden Crepeau right now is carrots, parsnips, lettuce (lots of different types of lettuce), Spinich (its actually done and gone and a new bed of carrots took its place), leeks, shallots, onions, snap peas, beans, couliflower, broccoli, cabbage, potatoes, squash, zucchini, pumpkins, Tomatoes, Peppers, turnip, Asparagus, Rhubarb, and a new field of Raspberries at the back of the property. We also have Basil, Oregano, and Parsley decorating our front steps in pots. We have the tomatoe plants caged and staked, the cucumbers are climbing the teepee you see and the snap peas climb a net. gardner Guy has to hill the potatoes every so often

I am on a mission not to waste anything. I come up with new recipes, like grilled broccoli,  and learn how to make old favorites, like Colslaw. And when the time comes I preserve. As in previous years, I will can my tomatoes and make salsa, make bread and butter pickles (but not dill as I haven't mastered the art of the crunch and it ends up being a waste of time), I will freeze the zuchinni and Rhubard all shredded and cut up ready for baking and we will eat our own potatoes and squash well into the winter. But for right now, we will eat fresh veggies every day that we know are grown safely and by our own four hands.


The Snap-Peas Climbing their net

Oh wait, make that eight hands. Yes, the kids love to garden too. Anna will happily bring me veggies and both of them have had a hand in planting and weeding. What an amazing thing for our children to learn. In a Society of technological advancements, I love that our kids are learning first hand, with their own two eyes where vegetables come from and how to grow them.

However, this project may get away from us seeing as we planted enough food for a summer camp, so neighbours come on over, the salad is on us!



where there is food, there is deer! Enter the Scarcrow!

Broccoli Galore

We have a HUGE garden! I cannot take any credit. it is all my wonderful husbands doing. We are growing things I never imagined growing in a home garden and I am so excited to dig in to all the home grown fresh veggies.

our garden is on steroids. Everyone who sees it cannot believe it. I will post again soon with pictures. We have been eating spinach for a while now and are now on to the lettuce. We also now have cabbage ready to go and broccoli.

The point of this post is to share a recipe i found today and loved. With 9 heads of broccoli ready to be eaten now, I needed to find a way to consume it fast. I like broccoli but cooked broccoli not so much. I wondered can you BBQ broccoli and now I know YES.

Grilled Broccoli

6 cups of fresh broccoli spears

Combine 2 TBSP of Olive Oil
                2.5 TBSP of Lemon Juice
                Salt
                Pepper

Drizzle the mixture over the broccoli and toss to coat. let sit for minimum of 30 minutes.
Put 1 cup (or less, whatever you desire) of Parmesan cheese in a zip lock and toss a few spears in at a time to cover.
Grill the broccoli over indirect heat (top rack, grilling basket) for about 10 minutes or to taste, flipping once.

We ate an entire head of broccoli at supper. Anna asked for more!!

It is from Allrecipes.com.

I'm Pregnant!

Just Kidding! but that got your attention didn't it.  In reality those are two words that haunt me!

So the big question is how do we prevent that from happening! Seems cut and dry doesn't it. Don't want more kids, get a permanent fix...him of course. But is it that simple!

I am 99.9% sure I do not want more kids. With each child the quality of my parenting has decreased significantly and the last thing I want to do is be Octomom. but right now, in this moment of baby bliss, I cannot believe I will not have another newborn! I say this of course because as we all know my kids pop out like a jack in the box and because my new baby girl is what every new mom could want; my sleepless nights lasted only a few weeks, she nurses like a pro (14 lbs to prove it), she is easy going and cute as a button.

Logically I know that is not a reason to have another baby but sometimes emotions beat out logic. What if when all my kids are in school I want another one? Do I want to permanently close that door? I always thought yes for sure but permanent is so...well...permanent! So what are the options?

An IUD. hmmm decision is no. What I didn't know before consulting my OB is that an IUD does not prevent pregnancy. The egg gets fertilized but the IUD makes your uterus inhospitably so it cannot implant, essentially aborting it. Now I am pro-choice for the right reasons and for many people this is OK but it seems weird to me to think I could be getting pregnant over and over again and killing it off.

So option B. The Pill or any other hormone method. hmmm... bad news there for me. I am already an emotional wreck add on hormone changes and steer clear.

So that leaves the each time option and this doesn't help the problem where emotions beat out logic. One emotional evening and we say Hello to Guy JR. (and I already have one mini-Guy, I cannot handle two)

So what to do. Did anyone else have this kind of a battle deciding on making a permanent fix? if so, offer me some advice because I think about it daily. I want to move forward, I want to clear out the baby stuff, I want to be able to go to Disney world and not rush home for naps, I want to stop changing diapers but I also want to rock another newborn.

Unfortunately with Alexa being baby number 3 and having a toddler boy who just turned 2 and gets into EVERYTHING, I don't get too many baby snuggles. She gets into bed with me in the morning and I am in heaven being snuggled next to her and then they break through the door and ruin our moment.  She is so easygoing that I almost take advantage of it. I think i need to schedule some Alexa time into our day and sneak away to another room with her for snuggles.

Maybe if i squeeze in more snuggles I won't be mourning the baby stage and I will look back at this post some day and wonder what was I thinking!

My New Reality

Being on mat leave with my first baby was essentially a vacation... but I didn't know it! we snuggled in front of the tv for hours on end, slept as much as we wanted, We went shopping with friends, I kept a clean house, made dinner every day, baked regularily and my playdates actually reflected the old tostitoes commercial.

Being on Mat leave with my second baby and a toddler was much more work. My house was messy, any tv I watched was from treehouse, I went to the mall just to check out the pet shop and toy store, dinner was often not made and my playdates catered to the toddler not the baby. I basically looked back at my first mat leave and realized what a cake walk it was.

I have now completed week one of mat leave with my third baby and a toddler and a preschooler and now looking back I realize that my second mat leave was also a pretty easy year.

So let me tell you about my new reality...

Baby 3 was born on April 15th. the toddler and preschooler were in daycare until April 30th. I used these first 15 days to catch up on sleep, get breastfeeding under control and bond with my new babe. I dreaded May 1. Not because I didn't want to spent time with my other 2 kids but because I was scared of how I was going to do it.

Day one was a challenge. After we got up, the older 2 wanted to eat breakfast and of course the sound of the word breakfast woke up the baby who also decided it was time to eat. While I fed the baby, I watched the other 2 fight and beg for food. When we finally made it downstairs well after 9am and got fed, I had to get use to having a house that was constantly being messed by a toddler and a preschooler playing rather than a house that was only occupied for 4ish hours a day. We needed some groceries but I was too scared (and still am) to take all three to the store. The weather was not play-outside-for-hours nice so we all stayed cooped up inside getting use to the new routine. Needless to say by the end of the day I had demonstrated several mean mommy moments and was both angry with the kids and myself for all of our lack of patience.

Getting use to this new reality has not been easy.

my toddler boy is headstrong and determined. trying to teach him what he can and cannot do has proven to be my biggest challange. I am learning that he cries a lot because he wants what he wants and he wanted it 5 minutes ago. I guess this is what is called the terrible two's? I am getting use to the crying and he is starting to do it much less because I have decided that I will take the crying if it teaches him what I will put up with and what I won't. For example. He wants to come down stairs and then when I go up to get him he changes his mind and on this goes for several trips up the stairs. Well, too bad, you wanted to come down so I am bringing you down and you can cry it out. He also has aspirations of being a stunt man. He likes to stand on the counter stools, walk down stairs properly and unassisteed and start physical fights with his big sister. I will be surprised if we make it through the next year without stitches. Last week, I was so frustrated with him. He was my "problem child"! but after one night lying in bed thinking about it I realized he is just a toddler and a boy! I am not use to what he has to offer me and if I work with him instead of against him then I think we will both be okay. And he is stinkin' cute which outweighs all the grey hairs he will give me.

My preschooler misses her friends and her daycare environment. She is so use to the routine and the constant stimulation that I am learning I need to have something planned for her everyday. She also no longer naps therefore requiring extra stimulation when I would rather be having me time. I am, however, enjoying my time with her because in September its off to Kindergarten (tear tear)

And then there is the baby. My sweet baby girl who is totally a thrid child. She has had phones and rubber boots dropped on her head. She has been cut off from a feed so I could lift the toddler into the swing and she is basically a fixture in the room while I cater to the needs of the other two. But she is my baby,my last baby and she is growing way too fast. I cherish our evening snuggles and midnight feeds because it is so rare for us to have any special time. I think it is safe to say she will always be my baby.

So there it is. I would never tell someone that there situation is something it is not but if you are home with baby number one and plan on having baby number two and possibly baby number three, enjoy it because you will never have a mat leave like this one again.

Stay tuned for what this next year has to offer. I am sure I will share stories of success, injury, stress, and drama. And I cannot wait!

Things don't always go as planned...

3rd pregnancy! 3rd labour and delivery! 3rd baby! 3rd times a charm. right?

When I had Anna I had no idea what to expect from the experience. I youtubed some deliveries and went flush watching the crowning. In the moment I lasted a whole 30 minutes of pain before opting for an epidural and had a very controlled and pain free delivery. What did I want to do different next time? I wanted to see my baby being born! Mirror, camera, video, I didn't care but I wanted to see it!

When I was pregnant with Max I planned to ask for a mirror or have Guy video it. But things don't always go as planned and with no warning I started having contractions a minute apart and we flew to the hospital to deliver not long after. No time to think about a mirror or camera. I got an epidural which ended up being ineffective given how fast I delivered.

So fast forward to April 14th, 2012. I planned this time. I invited my mom to witness the blessed event. Her Job was to take pictures of the whole thing (yes, that too) and to coach me through 3 hours of no epidural (I did it before and I survived)! I planned and I was prepared to correct my regrets from delivery 1 and 2. 3rd time was going to be a charm!

But things don't always go as planned...

Back to Life...Back to Reality!

I survived one week back to work...but just barely!

Last weekend I was all geared up to head back. I spent the weekend tidying up around the house and preparing some freezer meals, doing laundry and loving on my kids! Of course though nothing in a parents life happens as expected and right before work was to start Max stopped sleeping through the night. its like he knew something was up and wanted to tell me how much he disagreed with this change. So week one (and 2 days) I have worked my full days on very little sleep. Nothing like jumping right into the deep end of the pool! As well, my replacement has been gone now for over a month so I had no honeymoon period it was right to the grind picking up everything that has been on hold for a month.

I was very lucky to have a dear friend take on the challange of watching Max for me. I say Challenge as she is a parent herself to 3 girls ranging in age from 4 to 11 months. All last week he cried at drop off and made things a little difficult for everyone but otherwise seemed to adjust well. While I feel very lucky to have a friend watching Max and I know he is safe and loved, it has the downfall of me worrying everyday that he is making things difficult for her and worrying that she will resent me for "ruining" her days. If he was going to a daycare in which I had no connection I wouldn't care if he pooped on them 5 times a day or demanded attention but I think it is human nature to care when you are friends with the person who's life is being affected. Now as as side note, she has told me numerous times that it is fine, she is Ok but it is definately my human nature to care.

So here I sit at my lovely desk while my kids go about their days without me. Max broke my heart this morning as he just looked so sad driving to Kate's house. I know he is being loved but I think he just wants to be loved all day by me. It is a big change for everyone but I know we will survive!

Ok. Lunch is ending, back at er!

I Survived!

One year later with only a few fights and meltdowns, numerous diapers and a ridiculous amount of feedings and one fever and we survived. Today Max turns ONE!!

To Celebrate this wonderful occasion I want to take a trip down memory lane. Where were we one year ago yesterday and today.

On Sunday June 6th, 2010 we had Grandmaman, Chantale, Noah, Zach, Grandma, and Grandpa over for dinner. I had been feeling very yucky all weekend; tired and sick. Just before dinner was to start I spent some time lying on the couch with my feet up. When dinner was ready I went to the table and grandma told me I looked really flushed. She then put her hand on my big belly and said she felt a contraction. I never went into proper labour with Annabelle so I didn’t really know what to expect. When Grandma told me I was having a contraction I then started counting them and timing the time between. The so-called contractions were tiny, didn’t hurt, and were not consistent so I thought it was a false alarm.
After everyone left (except Grandmaman as she was staying with us) I decided to go to bed just in case it was the real thing. When I was in bed, I had a very distinct “pain” in my belly. Daddy came to bed and I decided to go downstairs and wait it out while watching TV. At this point it still didn’t feel like much as the pains stopped when I was walking around. Daddy and Grandmaman came downstairs and insisted that I should go stay at grandma’s house because she lived close to the hospital. I reluctantly agreed and when I got up from the chair I had a lot of pain. While I was packing my bags (and making the bed, hehe) I decided that the pain was strong enough that I needed to go straight to the hospital instead of grandma’s house.
When we got in the car it was clear that the pains I was having were definitely contractions. They were 2 minutes apart and very painful. We had a 40 minute drive to the hospital and Daddy was very nervous that he was going to have to deliver you on the side of the highway so he was driving mighty fast. Every contraction I screamed in pain and daddy drove faster so I had to try and be quiet. It was now after 11pm and luckily there wasn’t any traffic. If any cars got in our way, Daddy flashed his lights at them to get out of the way. When we got to the hospital, daddy dropped me off at the door and went to park the car. As I sat in a wheelchair at the door, people saw me and were very concerned that I was not ok but I was fine, just very much in labour!
Daddy wheeled my chair up to labour and delivery and we checked in. I had a hard time talking as my contractions were now a minute apart and daddy was very flustered. We went into the triage room and the nurse checked me to discover that I was only 4 cm dilated and my water had not broken…until 2 minutes after that when it did. They immediately moved me into the delivery room where we met our nurse for the night, Anita.
Anita was great. I was in a lot of pain and really wanted an epidural. While we were waiting, I was given laughing gas to take off the edge and while it didn’t make the pain go away it gave me a sense of humour. I was able to joke and laugh between the painful contractions. However, it was also yucky and made me very sick. When the woman came to give me the epidural, Anita wanted to check to see if I had dilated anymore first. I was afraid she would tell me it was too late for the epidural so I wouldn’t let her check me until after. She reluctantly agreed and after the epidural she checked and I was 8 cm. (As I thought, she wouldn’t have given me the epidural had we known this). After I got the epidural, the contractions were still very strong and painful. The pain changed into a throbbing pain in my crotch that wasn’t going away every 2 minutes like the pain from the contractions. Anita checked and I was ready to give birth to you. She said I could wait for the epidural to kick in but the quickest way to end the pain was just get you out! So with that I pushed for what I remember to be maybe 5 minutes or 2 pushes and you were born at 1:22am (about an hour and a half from arriving at the hospital and 3.5 from my first contraction). You cried a beautiful cry and so began our amazing journey together on June 7th, 2010.

To celebrate that wonderful day we had an wonderful birthday BBQ with our friends and family. However, Given that Max has been sleeping well he needed to remind me of who he is and how he is special. So a day before his party he got his first fever and was sick with vomitting and diarreha for the next 3 days. then the night before his actual first birthday he was up from about 2am to 6am.

Regardless, he is cute as a button and I am totally in love.

Whats for Dinner?

I have never been a big cookbook girl. I have many and I have flipped through them and made the occasional casserole but I generally found the food either to forgein, or I didn't have half the very large amount of ingredients.

Until now...

Right after Max was born my mother in law introduced me to Clean Eating when she gave me the Eat Clean Diet Cookbook, by Tosca Reno. Having just had Max, healthy eating was just what I needed but I had no idea that this cookbook would shape the way my family ate from that point on. We break out this cookbook at least once a week and have even memorized some recipes.

So what is clean eating? Clean eating is basically eating without using processed, packaged food. If you ever watch Dr. Oz, you may have heard him say that you should shop the perimeter of a grocery store. The perimeter is where you find, fresh vegetables, grains, meats, and dairy. Now don't get me wrong, we still eat some processed and packaged food but this way of cooking our meals has taught us ways to prepare dinners without pre-made sauces, spice mixtures, etc.

Now I have tried some recipes that I won't make again (the homemade mac and cheese - not good) and the downfall to this eating is the initial need to purchase some ingredients that you likely don't already have but then you have them and they last for a long time.

But let me give you a taste for yourself. The next time you make a stir fry make your own sauce:

Chicken Szechuanese (sauce)
Sea Salt
Freshly ground black pepper
2 tsp potatoe flour or quinoa flour (i use regular flour)
3 tsp soy-sauce
3 tsp rice vinegar
1 tsp organic honey
1 cup vegetable or chicken broth

Mix together in a small bowl and when your stirfry is almost cooked, add the sauce and let simmer for a few minutes so the sauce soaks into the meat.

I have recently added Tosca Reno's Eat Clean Cookbook to my collection and once again, not disappointed.

If you want to make a lifestyle change, try this out. I think you'll like it.

Happy Mothers Day!

Hi Everyone. I hope you all had a great mothers day weekend. I sure did! We worked and played outside in the beautiful weather all weekend.

I promised Guy that Had i been on Facebook still I would have tooted his horn for giving me a wonderful mothers day so I will toot it here.

Friday he came home with a dozen pink roses (from Anna). they were bought as a fundraiser for breast cancer so the money went to a good cause which was an added bonus. (note Guy cooking dinner in the background)

Then While I took the kids swimming Saturday morning he installed my new clothes line (from Him).


Then on Sunday morning I got to sleep in for 2 extra hours and then i came downstairs to a cute card from the kids and a gift card to Lululemon to buy a new coat (from Max).

I have to say that Max has given me the hardest year of My life, so its fitting that his is the best gift of all. LOL.

Thats it thats All!

Are you a bad driver? No I am a parent!

I have always gotten openly annoyed with bad drivers. I hate tailgaters most of all and then there are the plain ignorant drivers who either just slept through drivers ed or are so confident in their skills that they try to multi task to an extreme. Either way, I go insane when in the presence of bad drivers.

Now may I present you with my hypocritical side. Lets take June 6th, 2010 for example. I went in to labour suddenly with my contractions starting at 2 minutes apart. With a 40 minute drive to the hospital ahead of us, my husband flew down the 416. He flashed lights at trucks that where in our way and dodged cars as necessary. I am sure the other cars where cursing him like I would normally be doing but he had no plans on delivering a baby on the side of the highway. Hmmm maybe next time I see such a scene I should consider what the circumstances may be.

Example number 2 of hypocritical me. As a sleep deprived mom, I often forget my head at home. I never drive if I am THAT tired but I have been less than all present driving through Kemptville to runs errands. A few weeks back I got a finger wave and head shake by a clearly annoyed gentlemen because I forgot to signal my turn and he sat waiting. I have been him and I felt terrible. I wanted to jump out of my car and explain myself and apologize. But instead he went on his Merry way thinking I am just a bad driver.

My final example came this past week. During the pouring rain I drove through the grocery store parking lot. I usually consider myself to be a thoughtful driver but when I was in my zone, it never occurred to me to stop and let the family leaving the video store who were standing in the pouring rain while I sat dry in my car cross the way. the light bulb noting my ignorance only came on when the dad looked at me (I saw through my rear view mirror) and shook his head. In this instance I wanted a do-over because to them now I am rude but the fact is I am generally very thoughtful in this matter.

So this is my apology to all drivers who have been the victims of my poor road skills lately. I am not a bad driver, I am just an exhausted parent.

Maybe I should just let Max drive from now on!


P.S - going off facebook is like leaving a party that is in full swing to go home alone. I seriously feel like I am missing a party. Liberating but lonely.

Bringing back the Art of Conversation!

Social Media has taken over our lives and recently I have realized that it has also taken away parts of our lives too. Therefore I have decided to stop using facebook.

Reason 1: The other day I was out with some friends and I realized how annoying it is to have someone check their facebook via smartphone in the middle of conversations. While noticing how annoying this is, i also realized that this is totally something I do. I have gotten to the point where i cannot go anywhere without my phone. A while back I read a blogpost about "mom, put down your damn iphone" or something like that and when i saw Anna breastfeed her child and needed to have her phone in her hand I had my eyes opened up. Surely she thinks that "damn Iphone" is as important to me as her.

Reason 2: When I run into someone from highschool or college or anywhere for that matter I feel like facebook has ruined the art of conversation. We already know everything about eachother right down to how much weight we need to lose. I have started a few conversations by asking "how is...." and realized it was a stupid question because thanks to facebook I already know. I have also wanted to share something about me but it is redundant because thanks to facebook they already know.

Reason 3: I have an addictive personality, a trait that was likely passed on to me by my father, and when I am addicted to something it seems as though I either need all or none. Now before you start sending me AA cards, I am talking more like Chocolate and Facebook. In an attempt to get physically healthier I have been cutting Chocolate out cold turkey so now in an attempt to get mentally healthier I am cutting out facebook. Facebook puts everything out there for everyone, especially if you are me. I started by disabling my wall to try and decrease my sharing. then I cut my friend list in half because I was incapable of not oversharing.

Simply put I appear to be unable to use facebook minimally so I am going to stop. I need to work on the most important relationships I have without the distractions of my overly obsessive curiosity with what everyone is up to. While Max has his evening bottle I am going to read to him instead of search facebook. When Anna wants to do a puzzle I am going to keep my phone in the kitchen instead of my pocket. After the kids go to bed I am going to work on my scrapbooks instead of stare aimlessly at my computer. And while Guy and I are in bed I am going to....Use my iphone to play scrabble with him. :) And when I see someone I am going to Ask "What have you been up to?" and actually be curious!

But I still want to stay in touch with my facebook friends. I am on Linked In for work and I have a twitter account (mostly so i can pretend I am friends with celebrities and reality TV stars) and I still use old fashioned Email, Phone, and Text. And of course I have this blog which I will continue to write in and share photos. So please follow it so that i am actually sharing with someone other than myself.

So there you have it in a nutshell. Guy thinks this is a phase and doesn't think i am serious. Who knows, maybe you'll see me back here later but definitely will be a long while. I will stay live for tomorrow so that I can hopefully get some blog followers but then after that I am shutin' er down for atleast 28 days (they say thats how many days it takes to break a habit, hense 28 days rehab...facebook rehab in my case)

The Million Dollar Family!

Last night I had an epiphany, at least that's what I think its called. After Max woke up in a screaming fit due to most likely constipation, his cold, teething, or a combination of all three I realized that I cannot have another baby and I frankly don`t want one even if it means giving up one more year off from work.

I want to start by bowing down to moms of three or more kids. I am sure at least one of those kids challenged you and I commend you for having the strength to do it.

I have flip flopped on this subject a lot over the past 10 months as Max has been one heck of a challenge but last night was the first time I decided that I was done and believed it. It wasn`t because Max was having another meltdown, it was because I wasn`t able to handle it without losing my mind and sharing a few unchoice words with a small baby who is clearly in distress. When Max finally settled in my arms (seriously, I did not deserve any baby snuggles) I lied awake for hours making a pros and cons list which ultimately led to this decision (I will share the list at the end).

Why do I want three kids was the first question I asked myself. I never wanted three kids. I grew up in a house of 2 and I always said i wanted 2. If you consult my grade 8 yearbook it says I would have 2 kids by the year 2000 or something silly but still it said 2 kids. this all changed when I met my wonderful husband. He comes from a family of 4 kids. He is the only boy and the youngest and they are all very close, despite the physical distance between them. 2 of his sisters have 3 kids and the other has 2. they have an `honorary` sister who also has 3 kids which makes family gatherings chaotic and fun, even if one or two siblings may be missing. On the flip side, my one brother has one child and we don`t really see each other often. I love him of course but sometimes I feel like an only child which is lonely in comparison to my husbands family. When we do get together, family gatherings are small and quiet. I realized last night that I saw happiness in numbers. the more kids, the more fun, the more happiness.

But as much as you can`t buy happiness you also can`t procreate it. Why can`t our family of four be complete. I have very fond memories of my childhood with just one sibling; we fit in a tent trailer perfect, we fit in a 2 bed hotel room perfect and no one had to sleep on the floor, we played 2 on 2 basketball and no one was left out, we drove to school together and no one had to sit in the backseat,(I am sure I could think of more if I was getting more sleep). I had a wonderful relationship with my brother and I believe that Anna and Max will have an equally wonderful relationship. Our job as parents now is to ensure that our wonderful family dynamic carries into their adulthood and then we can have what I thought we needed more kids to have.

I also wanted more kids so that I could experience pregnancy and childbirth again. for the past 10 months that was a big reason why I hung on to wanting three or maybe even four kids even through the ridiculously long sleepless nights. I would see my facebook friends announce pregnancies and new babies and I would get a tinge of jealousy in the pit of my stomach. I would watch a baby story and the birth part of teen mom and cry because it was so beautiful. I will probably still get such feelings but I just have to remind myself of why it is better to give someone else that honor of experiencing such a joyful event.

So there are my pros for having more kids; another year off, childbirth again and a big happy family.
The cons that I came up with are; More Expensive (daycare, sports, programs, vacations, clothes), more sleepless nights which lead to mean mommy to all kids in my presence, need a new car, short a bedroom, more sleepless nights, strain on my marriage, and did I say more Sleepless nights.

A year and half ago we gave away our beloved dog because we were not good doggy parents anymore. I wanted to keep him but I felt like that would have been a selfish decision. He got yelled at a lot because we didn`t have the time to give him the attention he needed so He was always in the way. Last night I caught myself comparing this decision to that one. I want another child to full fill my personal needs which is selfish but in the end I would rather be a great mom to 2 kids then an Ok, sometimes crappy mom to three or more.




So the door to more kids is officially closed...and locked. My husband says we still have the key tucked away for a rainy day considering he won`t let anyone near his unit with a knife or laser or anything. But I think I should make a video of Max and Me at night in case we entertain the subject again.

OMG, did you see what she was wearing?

Today I came across a blog post and I want to share it to all my readers. Read into it what you want but I read it to be mean and the straw that broke this camels back.

So without further ado, here it is. It is a blog post written by the owner of the Extraordinary Baby Shoppe in Ottawa. I have never read her blog before today but I took this opportunity to read a few other things she has posted and well... lets just say I won't become a follower. http://extraordinarybabyshoppe.blogspot.com/2011/03/hello-i-would-like-little-clarification.html

The reason I was angry at this specific post was her choice to refer to parents who diaper their babies in disposable diapers as "parents who don't consider the environmental effect of single-use diapers" and her comment about "If they are going to gripe and moan about the mess they create, they had better be ready to pay for it!". Now if you read this post you will see that she is referring to the City of Ottawa's decision to switch to Bi-weekly garbage collection which is a topic that itself means nothing to me (I don't live in the city) but what I consider a written attack on parents such as myself was enough for me to take my business elsewhere.

As I have said over and over again, I do not like being preached to about how I should parent or do anything for that matter. If someone chooses to cloth diaper then great for them. I did it for a while and it ended up not being for me. My decision to use the extremely popular disposables does not mean that I don't consider the environment. My husband and I conserve energy, recycle A LOT, grow our own veggies, don't idle our cars, and do everything we can for our friend mother nature. To be accused of not being environmentally friendly because I use regular diapers is simply mean. To be accused of anything for any safe and normal parenting decision I make is unnecessary.

Why this blog post bothered me is because it is just another one of those issues that divide parents between the type that do one thing and the type that do another. cloth diapers vs disposables, Breast milk vs formula, homemade food vs jarred, cribs vs co-sleeping, crying vs no crying. I have seen posts and articles supporting one side or the other and while I have seen people very pro-cloth diapers, this was the first time I have ever seen someone actually get nasty in their attempt to sway someone to the other side.

Isn't parenting difficult enough without having to worry about whether or not you are being judged for the perfectly healthy and safe, normal decisions you are making for your children. Now I have to admit I am guilty of doing this myself when it comes to certain things and I plan to work on this because more and more I see things shared through social networking that made me aware that I may be making other people feel the way I feel when someone pushes a parenting style on me or insults mine in a round-a-bout way.

I thought about now going into all the parenting decisions I have made that are debatable but I chose not to because it doesn't matter. The fact is they are my decisions and they are safe, healthy, normal, and guess what, popular. Done and Done!

Sleep Learning

So you all probably want to know how Max's sleep learning is going. I have to say it has been a wonderful experience for me as I am learning so much about myself, Max, and parenting all together. I WISH I HAD READ THIS BOOK SOONER as it's about so much more than just sleeping!

My favorite paragraph in the book so far is this: "There are times in the course of your child's growth and development when he will be attempting to learn an important new skill and he'll feel some frustration in the process of that learning. Take crawling as an example. When children are on the brink of crawling, they often rock back and forth on their hands and knees, trying to get to a toy that's just out of reach. The baby cries and complains out of frustration. what's your first temptation? scoot the toy closer, or course, so he won't have to struggle. But what has he missed if you do this? an opportunity to feel a bit of frustration...which then leads to an idea:'well, maybe if I move my knee a little closer to my hand, I can reach my hand farther.' BINGO! Whether your child is learning to walk, tie a shoe, ride a bike, or do math homework, each time your child struggles, it's going to be tempting to jump in and rescue him. But when you do this, you are actually preventing him from learning for himself what he can do to alleviate his frustration - in other words, learning the skill that will help him grow and develop as a human being."

This was the first time I have ever formally started and followed something through in an attempt to improve anything in my parenting. I always thought I would rather take my chances that I may get to sleep all night or that it would be easier to just get him back to sleep and get what sleep I can get. I didn't realize how worth it it would be to buckle down for a few nights to help us both sleep better and be happier.

So here is how it went:

night one (Monday). Unfortunately this night got off to a bad start as I had to go out for a commitment at the preschool and I am always the one to put Max to bed. So making changes to this bedtime routine was going to be tough. However, Guy put Max into his bed awake, which he is usually OK with, but without mommy there, Max had a meltdown. He was inconsolable for about 40 minutes when he finally fell asleep. Max then got up at 1am. I went in after 5 minutes and checked in on him. of course, seeing me and me not picking him up as I usually do made him very angry. I then did my check in's every 10 minutes until he finally fell asleep 40 minutes later. At my second to last check in, I moved the fan from Anna's room into his for white noise. This may have worked :). I then set my alarm clock for 3am and went in to give him his bottle (5 ounces) but he refused it so I put him back to bed and didn't hear from him again until 7:30am. So to recap: one wake up, 40 minutes of self soothing with lots of tears, no night snack!

night two (Tuesday). Tonight I decided to move his bedtime routine to his room while Anna had special time with daddy in the basement. I read Max some stories, gave him his bottle, and talked to him about what we were going to do tonight. I then put him in his bed WIDE awake. He rolled over and took a few minutes (with no tears) to settle but he was eventually out like a light. I then didn't hear from him until 2:20am. He whined for about 30 minutes but because he wasn't really crying, I didn't check in on him because I know that would have really upset him. I actually even fell back asleep while he was still awake. My alarm then went off at 3am and while I was making his bottle I realized he was still awake. I went back to bed and waited for him to fall back asleep. When i was sure he was asleep I went in and gave him his bottle. He drank it (4 ounces) and went back to his bed until 7:30am. So to recap: one wake up, 40 minutes of self soothing with minimal tears and no check in's, one night snack!

night three (Wednesday). Bedtime routine was same as last night but I could tell he wasn't as happy. When i put him down he protested for about 5 minutes and then rolled over and went to sleep. I messed up tonight. I forgot to set my alarm clock for 3am for his bottle and he slept all the way through until 4am when he wanted it. Unfortunately in order to maintain consistency I had to wait until he fell back asleep before I could give it to him so as to not send him mixed messages. This seemed like forever but was actually only about 10 minutes. However, he was not fully asleep and woke when i entered his room. I gave him the bottle anyways and am desperately hoping I didn't ruin the progress we made so far. So to recap: no wake ups until 4am (bc I was silly and forgot to set my alarm), one night snack! Had I not forgot my alarm we would have had a perfect night on the routine.

night four (Thursday). Bedtime routine was same as last night. When put in his bed, Max protested for a minute or two but then quickly fell asleep. I set my alarm clock for 3am fed Max his 4oz bottle and then didn't hear from him again until 7:30. a perfect night for Max. Now if only Anna had not gotten up twice.

night five (Friday). bedtime routine same as night before with a small protest. I ended up waking up because of Anna and my stuffy nose and I heard that Max was awake. He never cried but I could hear him awake for a while. Max cried a but around 2:30 but quickly fell asleep. I set my alarm for 3am, fed him is 3oz bottle and we both went back to sleep.

I was hoping that I could now tell you that he sleeps through the night. end of story. Unfortunately Max is more complicated than that. He also woke up this morning with a cold and so far, as of 8:30pm tonight, has woken up crying 3 times. Therefore I assume tonight will be a giant step backwards.

But we'll see. Maybe he'll surprise me!

My A-Ha moment!

I have skimmed a few sleep training books since having Anna 3 years ago. I have read what I thought was important and I have taken advice from moms about what worked for them. Now on my second child, I have tried "training" him as I did with Anna. Nothing is working. I have never been in the no-cry camp and I admit that I let Anna Cry it Out (CIO) one night for hours but after trying the CIO approach with Max and it failing I decided that I was not in the CIO camp enough to let him do it over and over again. So I was stuck. I don't want him to cry but I don't want to get up multiple times a night giving in to his demands. I decided to invest my time and money on a book with good reviews.

Now I am aware that sleep "training" is controversial. Dr. Ferber is who he is because millions of people "Ferberize" their kids (a word that I hate because it sounds so institutional considering we are talking about small babies) and equally millions of people don't believe in allowing kids to cry at all for any reason. I sit in the middle. I think a certain amount of crying teaches kids to be tough, independent humans and I think parents can allow kids to cry on a certain level and actually be doing them some good. One thing about me as a person and a mom is I don't like being preached to by anyone who refuses to see the other side and who judges anyone for trying something that millions of people do. I think that all parents should try and do what works for them without being pressured or influences by anyone who strongly believes that their way is the right way.

So that being said, here is "my way" take it or leave it. but I think it sounds like a good balance and am trusting it will work.

Enter the SleepEasy Solution. I bought this book on my kindle last night and can't put it down. In fact it is ironic that I am reading a book to help us all sleep better and I read it until after 11pm last night. So far, this is the best investment I have made and I haven't even really implemented anything yet. But only 3 chapters in and I have had several A-Ha moments, as Oprah would say. What makes this book perfect for me is that it teaches a "Least Cry" method of sleep learning (not training, learning). It notes right off the bat that any change is going to involve frustration and upset on the child's part and that this comes with tears. However it does not promote the Scream it out method that, while usually effective, is somewhat traumatizing on a small child. (Hello, 2 pages in and I want to go smother Anna with hugs for putting her through that).

My first A-ha moment was that no 2 kids are alike, even if they are parented the same by the same people. Max and Anna couldn't be any different in terms of sleep. My husband and I could have a party in Anna's room and she would sleep through it while as soon as Max's door opens, he pops up and looks around.

My second A-ha moment was about falling asleep in one places/position and waking up in another. the example she used is if we fell asleep on the couch and woke up in bed, wouldn't that freak us out. I realized that while we had a consistent bedtime routine, Max was always falling asleep in my arms downstairs. This makes perfect sense to me as I reflected on Anna's naps. Daddy often would fall asleep with her (he likes his naps) but then leave half way through. Anna would then wake up screaming "My Daddy" because he was there when she fell asleep but not what she woke up. A-ha!!!! from tonight on, Max has his evening bottle in his room and will be staying awake until he is in is resting place for the night.

My next A-ha moment was about having distractions in the room/crib. The author talked about how babies will wake slightly and then should be able to fall back asleep (well, that's the goal anyways) but if there is anything that will knock them fully awake then problems arise. Max has 2 stuffed bears in his bed. They sit at the end by his feet yet when he wakes up at night, I usually find him head side down flailing the bears around. Maybe a distraction, maybe not, but those bears are sleeping on the floor tonight.

So far, my final A-ha moment was about feeding early in the morning. I always said that after 5 I would feed him. then that was after 4. and every night it got earlier and earlier. this theory made sense to me but seeing it in writing in a professional book was the kick in the pants I needed to start weaning Max off that feed.

So where do I go from here? tonight I start implementing what I have learned. When Max wakes and cries I will go in, not go too close and calmly tell him I am here, I love him and he needs to go to sleep. I will then leave. If in 5 minutes he is still crying I will go back and tell him again and leave. then 10 minutes I will go in if he is still crying and tell him again. Then I will wait 15 minutes... until he falls asleep. I will not simply close the door and abandon him. I will do this every time he wakes. Then I will set my alarm clock for 3 am and wake him up for a feed. I will feed him 5 ounces (last night he had 6). then put him back. I will then cut this feed down by an ounce every night until its all gone.

The only thing I implemented last night when he got up at 12pm and then again at 2am. I rocked him to sleep both times. At 2am, after I got him to sleep I put him down and went and made his bottle (it was 3am at this point) I then went back, gentle woke him, gave him the bottle and he slept till 7:30!! he hasn't done that in months! I did not give him the bottle as a result of the crying. I hope his little brain registered that :).

The key to this method is to be consistent and only respond to his wake up's with a calm reassurance that I love him but to not touch him or snuggle him and certainly not to feed him. Considering Max could be a poster child for the issues that created this book, I am hoping he will also be a poster child for the success of it. The book says it should take an average of 5 nights to achieve 12 hours of sleep and that the first night may be an hour of crying but that's it. Here's hoping! I will let you know how it plays out at the end of the week!