For the love of Kids.

Today I did something that 5 years ago I never thought I would ever have to do. I pulled poop out of my sons bum! Yup, its true, pulled his legs up to his chest, massaged his abdomen and slowly pulled a turd out of his bum. Why did I do this you may ask? Because He is my son, I love him, and he was uncomfortable. Even sadder is that this was not the first time I have ever done this. Last year my 2 year old, crawled in to her bed before bath (naked) and appeared as though she was going to sleep until I looked closer and what I thought was sleepy eyes was actually squinting, trying to poop eyes. I turned her over and saw a log that was at least the diameter of a loonie stuck in her bum. This was when i learned the art of massaging poop out of a bum. I had success and a very happy girl.

So why am I sharing all this information? Because its important for all people who plan on having kids to realize that with kids, comes poop and barf and many other gross things that without kids, you would never come in contact with. I remember an incident that occurred years before having kids in which my Sister in law was staying with us and her youngest who was about 18 months at the time was very constipated. So constipated that she was getting sick. Sparing you of details, I will just say that it ended with her pooping, barfing, and peeing all at the same time all over her mom and my brand new beige couch. As a person who loves kids, especially my family, I was not even close to mad but I was naive into thinking this would never be something I would ever have to deal with.

A few months ago, on my anniversary, to be exact, I posted on Facebook that I was covered in baby barf and it smelled awful. A lovely old college friend suggested I change my shirt. I laughed. With 2 very pukey kids, I was very use to being covered in baby barf. So use to it that I only wore "good" clothes if I was going to see people and said "good" clothes were actually clothes that I didn't care if I ruined and definitely not anything that required hand washing. Hand wash only clothes were considered as sacred as a wedding dress to only be worn to something as special as my own wedding.

With baby M now in his 9th month (seriously, I know), I am happy to finally be moving to a less barfy life. However, today's incident reminded me that Just because that stage has passed a new gross one will start. With solid food comes constipation; With potty trained kids, comes bum wiping; With cold weather comes snot; With teething comes drool, with inevitable illness comes diarrhea and real people barf. And lets not forget with diapers and squirmy babies comes pee and poo.

With children comes never ending access to someone else's bodily fluids. Yahhhh!

OMG I am dating again!

Now that I have declared that, I must clarify before the rumour mill starts swirling with stories of my divorce. I am not dating men, I am still happily married. I have come to realize that I am dating moms! Let me Explain.

Last week I had a playdate with a girl that I met last summer. She has a daughter also named Anna and a son the same age as Max. I met her at a playdate thrown by a mutual friend. We became facebook friends not soon after that and have chatted on Facebook ever since. We decided last week to have a playdate with the mutual friend who introduced us and I can honestly say that when we first got together I had that new boyfriend nervous feeling which quickly passed as we engaged in Mom talk. Through this conversation we discovered that I am essentially dating mom's in an attempt to find my momfriend (my play on the word boyfriend)!

A year and a half ago, we moved to a new town which is about 45 minutes from Ottawa. I got pregnant almost immediately and was on Mat leave 9 months after moving here. I have a lot of friends who I love to see. Some are on mat leave themselves or stay at home moms but they live in the city. I make an effort to drive to the city and see them but it becomes an event with 2 kids and it usually means I have to sacrifice naptime as they sleep in the car. Therefore I am doing my best to meet new moms out here in the country. Which brings me to my dating!

My bestest friends from high school and our plethora of kids:

I never really dated boys. I went from one long relationship to my husband. I had a few dates in between but mostly with people who I was already friends with. I am now learning that dating is stressful and time consuming. So in my new dating now, I have traded bars and sporting events for playgrounds, skating rinks, and bookstores. I am on the hunt for someone who I have lots in common with, who has kids the same age as mine, and who doesn't already have their own momfriend. Shouldn't be hard to find right? Wrong! I have met many wonderful moms through Anna's school, At the playground, on my street, At the skating rink, even at Chapters but they either already have their own momfriend, live in the city, have older kids then mine, or we just didn't click on our (play)dates. I even did something I have never done before and gave my contact information to a mom I met at Chapters who is new to the area and lives in a neighbouring town but I am yet to get contacted. It appears I got rejected but I had to take a chance :(

I wonder if I will ever find my momfriend. In the book I am reading right now the mom talks about how she met her best friend while they were on Mat leave and I had my sigh moment as even the character in my book has a momfriend. Now for all reading I want to be sure to state that I enjoy the many friends I have made and will plan many more playdates for the next 5 months before heading back to work. But I think they would all agree, that while we are friends, some closer than others, we are not momfriend and momfriend (boyfriend and girlfriend, haha get it!)

Whats in a Name?

So when you get pregnant you have nine months to name your child and an unlimited amount of baby name books. Apparently I need the same time and resources for naming my blog. So forgive me for changing it up as I try to find the perfect fit.

Impaired Posting

Guy has always told me that I share too much on facebook. Sometimes I agree and sometimes I don't. As a result of his opinion I have ensured my privacy settings are up to date so that only my "friends" can see what I write and I even disables my wall so that all my messages from people have to be private. But lately it seems I cannot stop sharing. I go to a playgroup and am welcomed with "Oh things haven't been going so well for you" What? Oh ya, facebook! Facebook has provided me with an outlet to share, but has therefore taken away the joy of a face to face conversation about something that nobody knows. Because I share what seems like....everything.

As I reflect on my sleeping troubles of late, I wondered why nobody else seems to have these troubles or atleast feels the need to share them and update them ever hour or 2. Do I share to much? Am I making people think my life is terrible? what is so different about my parenting situation. It dawned on me why everyone elses children seem to sleep all night and mine don't. Everyone else doesn't take facebook into the nursery with them at 2, 3, 4 am. I do a lot of "impaired posting". Ahhhh. the wonders of the Iphone. You can take your "friends" into your midnight feeds with you. I then share my stress and troubles immediately. If I didn't have my Iphone with me at that moment, I am sure the feelings would pass and my morning status update would be much more positive. I check out everyones updates and if its a really long night, I feel the need to update everyone on every second of my terrible night. Why should I do it alone when my cyber friends can be with me. Some even talk back right away. thats a treat. It usual means they take their "friends" with them everywhere too. Did you know I take my cyber friends with me to the bathroom too. thats how my Iphone ended up being dropped in the toilet. These days it seems my Iphone is like my right hand, I can't go anywhere without it, I even updated facebook less than an hour after Max was born and before I had even left the delivery room.

And who are these Cyber friends I take with me to my most personal places? I have 328 friends on facebook right now. Since I joined in 2007, I have unfriended many and been unfriended. I have re-freinded some out of curiosity and then unfriended them again. Of those 328 current friends I have, I think it is safe to say that I would, without facebook, talk to less than 30 of them ever and less than 10 of them regularily. My life would be lonely without facebook. My midnight feeds would consist of countless games of solitaire and angry birds. But instead I have a world of support that I wouldn't have without facebook. I have my regulars who always offer me stories, suggestions, advice, and encouragement. Some ladies that I met briefly in passing and others that I went to High school with but barely talked too and of course my dear friends that make up the 10 I spoke about earlier have become my support network through my mommy struggles.

So if I share too much, I am sorry. Impaired posting is as bad as drunk texting. in the morning I sometimes regret putting the vibe out there that I hate my life. I don't, I just hate being up multiple times a night. I need to be more positive and I need to control my impaired posting!