My A-Ha moment!

I have skimmed a few sleep training books since having Anna 3 years ago. I have read what I thought was important and I have taken advice from moms about what worked for them. Now on my second child, I have tried "training" him as I did with Anna. Nothing is working. I have never been in the no-cry camp and I admit that I let Anna Cry it Out (CIO) one night for hours but after trying the CIO approach with Max and it failing I decided that I was not in the CIO camp enough to let him do it over and over again. So I was stuck. I don't want him to cry but I don't want to get up multiple times a night giving in to his demands. I decided to invest my time and money on a book with good reviews.

Now I am aware that sleep "training" is controversial. Dr. Ferber is who he is because millions of people "Ferberize" their kids (a word that I hate because it sounds so institutional considering we are talking about small babies) and equally millions of people don't believe in allowing kids to cry at all for any reason. I sit in the middle. I think a certain amount of crying teaches kids to be tough, independent humans and I think parents can allow kids to cry on a certain level and actually be doing them some good. One thing about me as a person and a mom is I don't like being preached to by anyone who refuses to see the other side and who judges anyone for trying something that millions of people do. I think that all parents should try and do what works for them without being pressured or influences by anyone who strongly believes that their way is the right way.

So that being said, here is "my way" take it or leave it. but I think it sounds like a good balance and am trusting it will work.

Enter the SleepEasy Solution. I bought this book on my kindle last night and can't put it down. In fact it is ironic that I am reading a book to help us all sleep better and I read it until after 11pm last night. So far, this is the best investment I have made and I haven't even really implemented anything yet. But only 3 chapters in and I have had several A-Ha moments, as Oprah would say. What makes this book perfect for me is that it teaches a "Least Cry" method of sleep learning (not training, learning). It notes right off the bat that any change is going to involve frustration and upset on the child's part and that this comes with tears. However it does not promote the Scream it out method that, while usually effective, is somewhat traumatizing on a small child. (Hello, 2 pages in and I want to go smother Anna with hugs for putting her through that).

My first A-ha moment was that no 2 kids are alike, even if they are parented the same by the same people. Max and Anna couldn't be any different in terms of sleep. My husband and I could have a party in Anna's room and she would sleep through it while as soon as Max's door opens, he pops up and looks around.

My second A-ha moment was about falling asleep in one places/position and waking up in another. the example she used is if we fell asleep on the couch and woke up in bed, wouldn't that freak us out. I realized that while we had a consistent bedtime routine, Max was always falling asleep in my arms downstairs. This makes perfect sense to me as I reflected on Anna's naps. Daddy often would fall asleep with her (he likes his naps) but then leave half way through. Anna would then wake up screaming "My Daddy" because he was there when she fell asleep but not what she woke up. A-ha!!!! from tonight on, Max has his evening bottle in his room and will be staying awake until he is in is resting place for the night.

My next A-ha moment was about having distractions in the room/crib. The author talked about how babies will wake slightly and then should be able to fall back asleep (well, that's the goal anyways) but if there is anything that will knock them fully awake then problems arise. Max has 2 stuffed bears in his bed. They sit at the end by his feet yet when he wakes up at night, I usually find him head side down flailing the bears around. Maybe a distraction, maybe not, but those bears are sleeping on the floor tonight.

So far, my final A-ha moment was about feeding early in the morning. I always said that after 5 I would feed him. then that was after 4. and every night it got earlier and earlier. this theory made sense to me but seeing it in writing in a professional book was the kick in the pants I needed to start weaning Max off that feed.

So where do I go from here? tonight I start implementing what I have learned. When Max wakes and cries I will go in, not go too close and calmly tell him I am here, I love him and he needs to go to sleep. I will then leave. If in 5 minutes he is still crying I will go back and tell him again and leave. then 10 minutes I will go in if he is still crying and tell him again. Then I will wait 15 minutes... until he falls asleep. I will not simply close the door and abandon him. I will do this every time he wakes. Then I will set my alarm clock for 3 am and wake him up for a feed. I will feed him 5 ounces (last night he had 6). then put him back. I will then cut this feed down by an ounce every night until its all gone.

The only thing I implemented last night when he got up at 12pm and then again at 2am. I rocked him to sleep both times. At 2am, after I got him to sleep I put him down and went and made his bottle (it was 3am at this point) I then went back, gentle woke him, gave him the bottle and he slept till 7:30!! he hasn't done that in months! I did not give him the bottle as a result of the crying. I hope his little brain registered that :).

The key to this method is to be consistent and only respond to his wake up's with a calm reassurance that I love him but to not touch him or snuggle him and certainly not to feed him. Considering Max could be a poster child for the issues that created this book, I am hoping he will also be a poster child for the success of it. The book says it should take an average of 5 nights to achieve 12 hours of sleep and that the first night may be an hour of crying but that's it. Here's hoping! I will let you know how it plays out at the end of the week!

15 lbs too heavy and still happy!

So all my posts have basically been about my kids. This one is ALL ABOUT ME! In my last post, I declared that I would lose 15 lbs! I stand by that and my husband has challenges me. He said that since I wrote it, I needed to do it! So here I go!

In 2005 I successfully completed weight watchers. Its a great program and if you stick to it, it can really work. it took me 3 months or so to lose 20 lbs and I kept it off for several months to become a life member. Unfortunately, I was super extreme and cut out anything with any ounce of badness in it so it was no surprise that I put some weight back on. After having Anna, i successfully did it again so i figure now I should jump on the bandwagon again. With the advice of a good virtual friend, I bought the App IWATCHR for my iphone. It eliminates the need of pen and paper for tracking food and, since I am very familiar with the program already, it eliminates the need to actually join and pay.

Anyways, for the past few weeks, I have really changed my eating habits. I also still go and see my personal trainer once a week which, while not really enough to drop several pounds a week, is enough to help my energy level, strength, and general well being. And let me tell you the effect that treating your body well can have on your mental and physical health.

We are almost through winter and I am yet to get sick! Knock on a million pieces of wood but its true, not even so much as a stuffy nose. My hair is nice and shiny and I feel so energized despite not getting a full nights sleep in almost a year. Despite, having 15 lbs to lose, bags under my eyes, and crazy stretch marks on my stomach, I feel good!

My husband and I were talking about why I haven't gotten sick yet this winter and he asked me if I am stressed and after thinking about it a bit, I said No. You know how they say laughter is the best medicine, well I think kids are the best prevention. Both my kids and my husband have gotten colds and yet I have managed to miss it (although after declaring that I am sure tomorrow I will be down and out). Despite my lack of sleep and the bad mommy days, I don't feel stressed at all. It seems that if I may be getting to my breaking point, Anna says something adorable or Max gives me a cute smile and I am back.

I am not exactly sure where this post is going, but my husband said last night that I needed to make one because he likes reading them. I am going to weigh myself tonight at my personal training session so i will update you next Tuesday after I weigh myself again. My goal is to lose at least 6-9 lbs by the time I go on my trip in February.

The lesson here is eat well, exercise even just a little and avoid stress for a happy healthier you!

Shoe Shopping Troubles.

So I learned this week that you need to buy winter boots for your toddler in August. A trip to Kiddie Kobbler prooved a waste of time as buying boots in December is impossible. Not a single pair in her size. Luckily a friend told me about www.tinysoles.com. Not only were they fully stocked but also signifigantly cheaper than here. With the dollar near par and free shipping, you can't lose. The website even has a sizing chart you can print out. but with free shipping you can expect a delay of weeks so if you are like me a waiting till december you may have to bump up to priority shipping. Oops :(

So if you have a infant or toddler, check it out. Thanks Andrea for saving my daughters winter!

to leak or not to leak!

So as I mentioned in a previous post, my boobs produce enough milk to feed a hungry orphanage. While many new moms would love to have this problem, I loath it for I cannot stand the mess that comes along with producing so much milk.

This issue has allowed me to test a variety of brands of breast pads. And trust me if it was available to me, I tried it. On this new mom product, I definitely consider myself an expert.

Some losing brands I have tried were johnston and Johnston, Gerber, exact, and a variety of washable cloth pads. My complaints are that they all leak, they are all too small, to thick, some fall apart when they get wet, and they all shift. I have found one winner and one breast pad to which I will be loyal for all future pregnancies.

The winner is.... Lansinoh Breast Pads! a box of 60 is about $12.

these breast pads are large enough that they cover a larger set of twins, thin so that you don't look like you have giant red circles on your boobs, well constructed so as to never fall apart, and best of all, THEY NEVER LEAK!

So if you have leaky "girls", I strongly recommend the Lansinoh breast pads. No other brand even comes close to comparing!

A multi-purpose toy

Is a tiny rubber giraffe really worth $20? Many moms would say Yes. Sophie La Giraffe is worth the money. It is not just a toy, its a soother and teether, and if you let it, an expensive dog toy!

A rubber giraffe made with safe rubber and paint with the expectation that it will be used in babies mouths, Sophie has saved me many car trips as her long legs were easy for Anna to get into her mouth when the soother was lost somewhere. With her long neck, she is easy for babies to grab. Even now, at 2 years old, with the soother restricted to bed only, I have often caught Anna fullfilling her oral fixation on Sophies legs.

Again though, I reiterate, if you have a dog be careful as She looks just like a dog toy and your canine baby may get confused.

one answer to the endless baby laundry

WShen it comes to starting solids, there is no doubt that the floor, the highchair, the clothes and of course the baby will be very messy. Some parents chose to reserve a spot in the kitchen for a lifetime supply of bibs. one per meal, which then have to be washed and will likely end fully stained.

Enter...Mally Bibs!

When Annabelle was a baby, I overheard some ladies at the gym talking about Mally Bibs. I went home and googled them so that I could see what the deal was. Seemed like a pretty neat idea and so I bought one (Kiddytown $20ish).

Mally bibs are colourful and fashionable leather bibs. they come in infant and toddler sizes and many different designs. the appeal is that they wash clean after each meal and stick to the fridge with a magnet. So no more stack of cloth bibs, no more excessive food laundry, no more tying bibs on as they snap together by magnet. They also teach your child the independance of putting them on and taken them off by themselves, which I admit can be a bad thing :)

Another wonderful item, invented by a mom for moms!

Me vs. the crib.. I WIN

When Anna was little she was a big spitter, puker, pooper. Pretty much if it could make a mess, she did it. This meant that I was changing her crib sheet almost daily. I found this to be a rather time consuming pain in the butt task. Anna had 1 bumper pad across the back (to prevent soother loss) and a skirt under the mattress. lifting the mattress out to change the sheet, meant undoing the bumper pad and messing up the skirt, then I had to wrestle the mattress till the crib sheet fit and put everything back together. talk about breaking a sweat!

Then one day I was reading my monthly todays parent and I saw a product that I thought would make my life easier. I hummed and hawed as it was a bit expensive but ultimately I went ahead.

I ordered the Quickzip crib sheets! from a website called cloudsandstars.com.

This is a sheet set where you put the sheet on the mattress what seem upside down and the top of the sheet zips off for easy changing and washing. then you only actually need to remove the crib mattress once in a blue moon to wash the base as the baby doesn't contact it.

This product has made my life so much easier and baby Max gets his sheet changed a bit more frequently than baby Anna did. Oh well, she turned out fine :)

the only downfall is that to have it shipped to canada is highway robbery!

Got Milk?

I am now on week 3 of life with my second child. Week 3 of sleepless nights and endless breastfeeding. As with my first child, I have no shortage of milk. I often soak through breastpads, spray my child in the face and face painful engorgement if I miss a feed. I have been trying to pump as little as possible so as to not trick my body into thinking it needs to create more milk than I really need. Enter this pretty cool invention which I assume was created by a mom like me.

Milkies - Milk Saver!. I purchased it from the Extraordinary Baby Shoppe for $34.99.

This neat contraption sits in your bra over the breast you are not using during a feed. your nipple sits in the hole and all the leakage during let down is collected. Believe it or not, I collect on average 1-1.5 oz of milk each time.

The downfall I have discovered is that this may only be collecting foremilk and not the fatty hindmilk. So be sure to mix it with some pumped stuff before feeding.

However, even if you don't save the collected milk you will save on breastpads!