A Hefty Situation!

OK. Here it goes! I weigh...no wait, I am not ready to announce that yet! But the fact is I weigh about 20 lbs more than I did before I had kids.

I did pretty good with my child bearing days. I gained a butt load of weight when i was pregnant with my first and lost all but 4 lbs before having my second. I gained a small amount of weight with my second and lost all of it before 6 weeks post partum. I gained a healthy amount with my third and still have 15 lbs to lose, add to that the 4 lbs I didn't lose after baby number one and I have 20 lbs to lose!

I have always battled weight issues. I can confidently say I have never been over-weight but I have been a bit heftier than I wanted to be. I think I was my heaviest in college when i was dating a guy who loved going out for beer and wings every single night. My sensitivity to my weight peaked when I was in my early twenties and I adopted a very unhealthy lifestyle to be happy. I got my weight down to the lowest it had been since early high school and I felt great. Then I met my now husband and I realized that the efforts I was putting into maintaining the weight I was at was not worth the agony that went with it because I found someone who loved me regardless of whether i had the extra 10 lbs on me or not. So i let go of the pressure I had on myself to be super thin.

A few years later I was starting to feel like I had not only let go, but let myself go and I had to do something about it. Regardless of whether I logically knew i wasn't fat or not i still had the self-esteem issues. However this time I wanted to do it right so I joined weight watchers on April 1 2005 (yes, I still remember). I was rigid! I didn't let myself eat anything with an ounce of fat in it and I lost 20 lbs before summer. I enjoyed this new me for less than a year before i put a good chunk of the weight back on because I went back to eating normally and allowing myself simple indulgences.

Hmmm. Don't I sound like Oprah?

So I lived the next several years feeling mediocre. I knew I wasn't the slimest of all the people but I was content. I was a bit self conscious about my appearance but nowhere near enough to deprive myself every again. In 2008 I went to DR with a girlfriend and I felt OK. There where a few pictures I wouldn't post on facebook but ultimately I was ok with me.

Then I got pregnant!

Being Pregnant and then having a post-pregnant body made me realize that I was not fat at all. I had a different build than my friends and I would never be 110lbs or even 120lbs ever again. I looked back at that picture of me, the last picture taken of me in a bathing suit before having kids, and i realize that I was not fat at all! Isn't it funny what your mind can make you see.

I successfully lost the weight from my first baby with the help of weight watchers a second time so I am trusting in the system and I have signed up again. my weight goal is my pre-babies weight. So essentially, that picture above. I have realized that anything less than that and I cannot maintain it so why bother if it doesn't bother me.

Now, almost 3 months post-partum from my third and final baby, and I am ready to get back into my jeans so I signed up for weight watchers online. my decision to sign up online was essentially based on me wanting to get started and the Kemptville WW wasn't until Monday night. It has been 3 days and I feel better already. I plan on doing it right and I am exclusively breastfeeding so I get almost double the points so i don't expect the weight to fall off but I am confident in the system and if I don't give into my around the clock cravings then I will succeed.

Because "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"!