Tis the Season to be Grateful.

While looking at pictures today I found myself getting choked up because of how much I loved my kids. I was in awe that these 2 beautiful human beings belonged to me and that i get to wake up to their amazing faces and personalities everyday (and multiple times a night apparently)for the next 18 years (then they can just call me when they wake up).

Lately I have witnessed Anna's amazing, thoughtful, and polite personality. She is always quick to get her baby brother a toy, or a burp blanket when he so much as drools. At the end of nap time, I hear her in the monitor yelling from her door to Max's room " Max, I coming! I coming, Max". When I sit down to nurse Max, Anna runs around getting me everything I need including my Iphone and a bur blanpket and then monitors Max's eating, making sure to push him back on if he lets go for any reason. Between helping Max and Helping Mommy, Our family is truly lucky to have such a wonderful little girl.

She is also my little parrot! As do most 2 year olds I am sure, she takes note of everything and then copies or repeats it in the cutest way. My term of endearment for Max is buddy and the other day as I was preparing Max's supper, he was sitting in his highchair letting me know that i needed to hurry up in the only way he knows how, with tears. Anna quickly ran over to him, brought him a toy and said "its Okay Buddy" over and over again. When she is not needed to sooth Max as he waits for his food she is in the kitchen getting a spoon for Max, or everyone for that matter, and setting the table for supper. I never taught me 2 year old to set the table yet she does it so well and without prompting.

A few weeks back, we had a bridal shower for my cousin and Anna and her little cousin Emmy sat down to eat their cake at the kids table in the toy room. Emmy's mom, my cousin Krista, sat on the floor in there to eat with them because the other chairs were all in the living room. Anna surveyed the situation and without any prompting Anna went into the other room and carried a chair back to the toy room for Krista. Yet another example of my thoughtful little girl.

This whole post was brought to light after a very busy holiday weekend. Yesterday evening we hosted my coworkers and their families for a holiday dinner. Usually a bit shy, I prepped Anna for the arrival of other kids. it turned out she was an amazing host. She showed the kids to her toy room, and took a younger guest under her wing. When everyone was leaving she very loudly shouted "Thank you for coming, Merry Christmas". Today was much the same as we attended another Christmas party. We were slightly afraid considering she went to bed at 10pm last night and missed nap today. Yet the day was completed at 7:30pm with no tears and lots of smiles.

So as the Christmas Season progresses I am reminded that I have already gotten the best gift of all; 2 beautiful children, inside and out.


PS: When I ask Anna what she wants Santa to bring her, she answers with Gusto "PRESENT"! Santa, if you read this, she has been a very good girl and she isn't even picky!

What are the odds.

This is just a quick story that I was reminded about and thought was worth sharing. It is proof that a) it really is a small world and b)...weirdness can happen.

When i gave birth to Annabelle, I had a joint room in the mom and baby unit while I waited for a private room. I had no idea who my roommate was as we both kept the curtains closed. However, I had some dear friends from high school visit me who recognized her as a girl we went to high school with. It appears we gave birth on the same day and then shared a room. interesting coincidence.

We had our first kids on the same day.

I ran into this girl in Ikea about a month ago. She was someone that in high school I don't think I ever spoke to because we were in different grades and ran with different social circles. However, given the interesting coincidence of before I figured I would say hello. We got to talking and realized that we each had a second child less than a week apart. Another interesting coincidence.

Our second kids, born less than a week apart, are both boys named Max.

huhhh, what are the odds.

To Cry or Not to Sleep...that is the question

As many of you know I have been battling some serious sleep issues in this house. When Max was a newborn I had never experienced such sleep deprivation in my life. for the first 10 weeks of his wee life he got up every hour through the night. As you all know from a few months back at that time I gave up on breast feeding and thought switching to formula would make the difference but it didn't and I was unhappy with our new situation. I switched back to breast feeding and to my surprise he started sleeping through the night. This lasted about a month. At which time, Mr Max started getting up for a couple feeds at night.

Since Max started getting up for night feeds, he has been totally unpredictable. He usually fed twice but sometimes he would feed more. I read books and discussed sleep training with other parents and eventually decided that I would not be doing any sleep training. I would give my sweet baby boy his night feeds as long as he needed them. I was functioning fine with a few nightly interruptions and I had been told that he would eventually just not need them. I was going to let him be my baby as long as he needed.

About 2 weeks ago, everything changed. We now know that everything changed when we took the guest bed out of Max's room and replaced it with a glider. He started getting up more than usual but still not enough for me to change my mind about sleep training. I read a book called Sleep Sense and bought Max a special lovey for his bed and started waiting a few minutes before going to see him at night, I even tried giving him formula before bed. I was going to try and help him cut out his night feeds without cutting him off cold turkey. However, things have progressively gotten worse and everything i thought I knew has gone out the window.

Max cut a tooth 2 weeks ago. He had a terrible night and woke up with a tooth. since then he has gotten up every hour for the entire night. I put him down between 7 and 8 and he is awake again starting at 9:45. When Anna cut her first tooth she went from sleeping through the night to getting up multiple times a night for four months until we finally let her Cry it out. But the difference between Anna and Max is that Anna was easily changed. One tooth and she got up at the same time every single night until One night of crying and she never got us up at night again. Max, on the other had, is so unpredictable. So again, i decided I would wait it out. He had to get over it soon. I have since learned that they may not be as different as i thought. Max had created a habit. Sometimes He doesn't even want to eat, he simply wants to be rocked in his new glider.

In the past week, I have had some of the worst nights ever. I have kicked guy out of bed so max could sleep with me, I have tried Camilia for his teeth, Hydrasense for his stuffy nose, Advil for whatever it is suppose to do. One night max stayed awake until 3 am and then when he finally fell asleep it only lasted 1.5 hours before he was a screaming mess.

So this is where I must decide; to Cry or Not to Sleep! Max has always known how to put himself to sleep. He has always gone to bed at night and at nap awake and always fell asleep peacefully on his own. So I know he can do it. Last night I was out when Max woke for the first time at 10pm. Guy tried consoling him but eventually he left him and hopped in the shower. By the time he got out, Max was asleep again. Hmmmm....maybe this can be done. We next heard from Max at 1am and I decided to give it a try. he put himself back to sleep in less than half an hour before so lets see what happens. So Please, hold your judgement and don't hate me, but Max cried for over an hour. I went in and soothed him (without picking him up), gave him a soother and told him how much i loved him and how sorry I was but he did put himself back to sleep and he slept till 5am at which point I happily nursed him and rocked him.

So there you have it. When it comes to parenting, nothing is cut and dry or black and white. Much like with a birth plans, things can change and throw a wrench in your perfect plans. Not to say listening to Max cry was easy, it was very hard to know how unhappy my baby boy was so lets just hope that Mr Max is as easily trained as Anna.

Impaired Posting

Guy has always told me that I share too much on facebook. Sometimes I agree and sometimes I don't. As a result of his opinion I have ensured my privacy settings are up to date so that only my "friends" can see what I write and I even disables my wall so that all my messages from people have to be private. But lately it seems I cannot stop sharing. I go to a playgroup and am welcomed with "Oh things haven't been going so well for you" What? Oh ya, facebook! Facebook has provided me with an outlet to share, but has therefore taken away the joy of a face to face conversation about something that nobody knows. Because I share what seems like....everything.

As I reflect on my sleeping troubles of late, I wondered why nobody else seems to have these troubles or atleast feels the need to share them and update them ever hour or 2. Do I share to much? Am I making people think my life is terrible? what is so different about my parenting situation. It dawned on me why everyone elses children seem to sleep all night and mine don't. Everyone else doesn't take facebook into the nursery with them at 2, 3, 4 am. I do a lot of "impaired posting". Ahhhh. the wonders of the Iphone. You can take your "friends" into your midnight feeds with you. I then share my stress and troubles immediately. If I didn't have my Iphone with me at that moment, I am sure the feelings would pass and my morning status update would be much more positive. I check out everyones updates and if its a really long night, I feel the need to update everyone on every second of my terrible night. Why should I do it alone when my cyber friends can be with me. Some even talk back right away. thats a treat. It usual means they take their "friends" with them everywhere too. Did you know I take my cyber friends with me to the bathroom too. thats how my Iphone ended up being dropped in the toilet. These days it seems my Iphone is like my right hand, I can't go anywhere without it, I even updated facebook less than an hour after Max was born and before I had even left the delivery room.

And who are these Cyber friends I take with me to my most personal places? I have 328 friends on facebook right now. Since I joined in 2007, I have unfriended many and been unfriended. I have re-freinded some out of curiosity and then unfriended them again. Of those 328 current friends I have, I think it is safe to say that I would, without facebook, talk to less than 30 of them ever and less than 10 of them regularily. My life would be lonely without facebook. My midnight feeds would consist of countless games of solitaire and angry birds. But instead I have a world of support that I wouldn't have without facebook. I have my regulars who always offer me stories, suggestions, advice, and encouragement. Some ladies that I met briefly in passing and others that I went to High school with but barely talked too and of course my dear friends that make up the 10 I spoke about earlier have become my support network through my mommy struggles.

So if I share too much, I am sorry. Impaired posting is as bad as drunk texting. in the morning I sometimes regret putting the vibe out there that I hate my life. I don't, I just hate being up multiple times a night. I need to be more positive and I need to control my impaired posting!

Shoe Shopping Troubles.

So I learned this week that you need to buy winter boots for your toddler in August. A trip to Kiddie Kobbler prooved a waste of time as buying boots in December is impossible. Not a single pair in her size. Luckily a friend told me about www.tinysoles.com. Not only were they fully stocked but also signifigantly cheaper than here. With the dollar near par and free shipping, you can't lose. The website even has a sizing chart you can print out. but with free shipping you can expect a delay of weeks so if you are like me a waiting till december you may have to bump up to priority shipping. Oops :(

So if you have a infant or toddler, check it out. Thanks Andrea for saving my daughters winter!

2.5 going on 12!

My baby girl is growing up before my eyes! I watch her in awe as she behaves in what I think is well beyond her years. She takes colouring so seriously that she concentrates so hard I have to remind her to eat her snack. Snack is a bowl of tostitoes and a cup of milk. Seriously, when did my 2.5 year old start lying on her belly with her ankles crossed colouring and casually munching on chips! Where did my baby go?

Recently Anna has taken to using my tactics against me. When it was time for bed but she wanted to watch Dora or Pooh, I would tell her they were gone DODO's. Then when pre-school started in September and she didn't want to go see Natasha (the teacher), she very seriously told me "Tata Dodo's! (Side bar: now when she is mad at me she cries out for Tata. complete 360 in 3 months.)

I have also been using the counting method to get her to listen. You know, you have till 5 to pick up your toys...followed by a timeout. I was shocked when after her nap today she yelled into the monitor "mommy come get me" She then proceeded to count to 5 and then yelled "time out". How do you not Laugh your A$$ off at that!

The Power of Words

I love music! I love music I can sing to, dance to, and most of all relate to.

There are numerous songs out there I love and that I when I listen to them I think they were written for me (not for real real). but a few are on my ipod as comfort songs that I listen to when I need to remember someone or something or when I just need to escape to the past or a favorite memory. Such songs include "The house that built me" by Miranda Lambert, and "Brand New Day" by Joshua Radin. "Tough Little boys" by Gary Allen which is how I always felt about my dad and of course "feels like Home" by Chantal Kreviazuk, which was the song I walked down the aisle to because it expressed how I felt perfectly. These are songs I often play on repeat.

But a few have "hit home" more than others...

I remember driving to work only a few months after my dad passed away and I heard Crystal Shawanda's "You can Let go now", I instantly thought it was a beautiful song and was sad that i would not get to use it as my father daughter song for my wedding. Then the song got to the third verse and I was transformed into a bawling mess. Not quite the father daughter song I initially thought it was. However, It turned out to be exactly the most perfect song for me to relate to. It seemed as though the writer was in the room the night my dad passed away. If you want to know what went down that night, listen to this song.

Most recently and what sparked me to write this post was my introduction to Brad Paisley "Anything Like Me". I listen to this song and initially I wondered if Max would be like my husband, Guy. Oiy! From the stories I have heard I will have my hands full. But this song also got me thinking as I interact with Annabelle. When Anna gives me attitude or is 'mean' to me. I feel so terrible because a)she's my baby and b)I now know how my mom felt. I know everyone says that you will understand and appreciate your mom so much better once you become a mom yourself and I have to say that if Anna is anything like me then I need to climb a mountain and shout to the world my apology to my mom. I wasn't, and am still not, the easiest daughter. Mom, if you read this far, I promise to do better. I love you! I realize Anna is like me, and I am more like you than i ever imagined I would be.

I watch TV to escape my life and live vicariously through others. I listen to music to embrace my life and relive special aspects of it on repeat!

It's Pat?!

I use to watch Saturday night live religiously and i think "It's Pat" may have been one of my favorite sketches. The story of a person with a gender neutral name who looked like they could be either a male or female. Hilarious! until your child is the butt of the questions.

a lack of hair at birth runs in both mine and guys families. Both Anna and Max were bald at birth and at 2 and a half Anna is still what I call "follicly challenged". She has very little hair. I think she is freaking adorable but I am starting to really get tired of confirming that she is in a fact a SHE. Almost everyday someone refers to her as he, little guy, him, or my son! SERIOUSLY people, she has her ears pierced, her coat is pink, she wears skirts, and her face is the angelic face of a girl.

It seems society has such a stereotype of what little girls and little boys look like that people cannot look past the major defining features on the outside to see someone for who they really are. My Annabelle is girl thru and thru. She plays dress up with princess costumes, takes care of her babies, and LOVES shoes!

I love her the way she is but I often stare at her wondering what she will look like with long hair that I can put in ponytails or braids. I know someday I will find out but in the meantime I need to buy more pink.

My "I will never list" with kudos to another blog.

A facebook friend and fellow mom recently posted this link on her page, I decided to give it a read and have since shared it with many mommies. Here is the link to their top 10 "oh now I get it moments"

http://www.rantsfrommommyland.com/2010/07/sgw-my-top-10-oh-now-i-get-it-moments.html

As I did, I am sure at least some of you will find yourself nodding and laughing as you read these. You will also, no doubted find yourself coming up with some of your own moments. This entry will share with you my "I will never list" which in turn has become my "oh now I get it list". I have embraced parenthood with the ability to accept the things i cannot change.

Here we go.

1. I will never let my child out of the house dirty or in unmatching clothes!

Basically when i found out I was having a girl, I had dreams of bows in her hair, beautiful dresses, and painted nails. she was going to be my real live doll. And she was...until she could move! Now if she leaves the house in weather appropriate clothes I am happy. She has left our house in pink and blue striped tights and an orange shirt with white polka dots. She went to a party in a pretty dress with a flannel pajama top as the cardigan. Should I at least be happy that she got the layering thing figured out? in the spring I hid her snow boots as she didn't understand or care that you don't wear snow boots without snow and one day during the 40 degree heatwave she found them and wore them on our evening walk. This wonderful sense of style goes hand in hand with the marker all over her arms and the pasta sauce or chocolate cookie that is all over her face that she often sports. But she is happy and for that I now get it.

2. I will never let my child play with stickers!

For those who know me, I hate stickers with a passion! I threw up at the metcalfe fair because someone stuck a sticker to me. Mind you I was pregnant but still I hate stickers! Everyone said I would never be able to keep Anna away from stickers but I thought if I I never introduce them to her she won't know what she is missing. I would even take them off the fruit as soon as they came in the house. What I didn't account for was friends and daycare and doctors offices and mean ole mommy friends who want to see me squirm! Now Anna loves stickers! But just because I have decided that her not throwing herself on the floor in a tantrum is worth a few stickers, I have not gotten over my issue. She once went to bed with a sticker on each hand and only woke up with one GASP! I tore her bed apart until I found the lost sticker because I was not going to be surprised by a gross disgusting dirty sticker in her bed. OK, so this is more my issue than a parenting thing. I am working on it!

3. I will never let my child throw a tantrum in a store!

I guess I thought because I was a child and youth worker with loads of experience caring for kids, I would magically have the best behaved, well mannered children to exist. I didn't account for the fact that children all have their own personalities that no amount of wonderful rolemodeling can change. My Anna loves to be silly. I have patience so I walk around the store following her while she is silly but when its time to go and she throws herself on the ground because I had to give the friggin rubbermaid bin to the cashier so she could scan it, I just went about my business and watched all the faces of the people around me who I know where thinking "my child will never do that". Oh ya, wait and see!


4 I will never make my people talk to my child on the phone!

I have talked to my neices, nephews, and friends kids on the phone and while I love them, I was ready for the call the end. I think moms think that everyone understands their kids the way they do and everyone finds them speaking cute. but its not true. Only moms and dads and maybe grandparents find it cute. Yet I still expose everyone who calls to my little Annabelles voice and I am blinded by my momminess because I still stand by the fact that everyone wants to talk to her!

So thats my contribution to this list. Considering I thought my life with kids would be a flawless fairytale I am sure there are many more things that could be added but I love life with my kids so much that I don't even remember or care about what I thought life would be like. it is what it is and I am embracing every moment.

stupid people make shopping with kids impossible!

When I was on Mat leave with Anna i often complained about the disrespectful people that would use the elevators when they dont have a stroller or disability. Even more annoying is when a mom takes her brood in the elevator and leaves no room for waiting strollers or wheelchairs. I got so annoyed over the year that I started voicing my beef with people, even getting in a verbal spat with a middle aged woman who was perfectly able to take the escalator. I mean seriously they are stairs that move, you don't even have to move your legs. How lazy are you. Once a woman in her 30's said to me after the 4th elevator passed (that I could not fit in because it was full of able bodied people) that she understood how i felt because she had a baby at home but then she and her husband who appeared to be in great shape, proceeded to enter the elevator. What part of "priority to strollers and wheelchairs" do these people not understand!

okay now that that is out of my system. Here is todays shopping beef! I now understand why priority parking exists for people with small children. Because we need space to romove car seats, strollers, kids, etc from our car. Today I discovered that since I can't let ignorance go unnoticed, I will always carry a pen and paper in my console. today a pen and tim hortons bag worked.

After a few hours shopping, I proceeded to my car to find that the Jack@#$ next to me parked so close I couldn't even walk between the cars, let alone open the door and put in a car seat. (See picture). To make this situation even dumber is the fact that there had to have been no way s/he could have gotten out of the drivers door unless they were abnormally small. the other side of their car had a post and they left about 4 feet of clearance. There was nothing I wanted more than for them to come out so I could give them a piece of my mind but i settled for the following note on their window.

"Thank you for parking so close that I had to leave my infant unattended while I moved my car out so i could put him in. Furthermore there is no way you got out of your car without hitting mine. I have taken down your license and will report any damage. Next time think before you park so stupidly signed: a disgruntled mom"

Maybe I was too harsh but man I am getting sick of ignorant people. For the record I did not leave Max unattended I struggled and put him in the car through the otherside, over the other carseat. Of course this resulted in waking him from his slumber and listening to crying for the next 10 minutes.

But it felt good to give a piece of my mind and it likely won't be the last time I do it.

To take care of herself!

Even before kids, I suffered from an annoying problem of my hair falling out. I mean I am not going to go bald or anything, but when I wash my hair it comes out in my hands and after i brush it I need to clean out my brush. This problem was only compounded when I got pregnant and my hormones started raging.

As a solution to this problem my mother in law told me she heard that Tre-semme shampoo does wonders for this issue. I decided to try it out. For the past year or so I have used Tre-Semme shampoo. I have used 2 different bottles and found a winner.

Tre-Semme Anti-breakage with B12 and Gelatin seriously, honestly, stops your hair from breaking or falling out, whatever may have been happening. I thought it was the Keratin in the shampoo that does the trick but they all have Keratin in them but only this bottle stops the problem.

So if you are faced with this problem either because you have kids or just because, try this shampoo. It takes a month or so to start working but tried and tested, I can tell you this shampoo will keep your hair where it belongs...on your head!

A Mothers Worst Nightmare!

We should have built a bungalow! Back in 2003 when I worked for Minto, I stupidly fell down the stairs of our office. when I landed at the bottom everyone panicked and wanted to call 911. i insisted I was fine but man did it ever hurt. In 2005 I stupidly fell down the wood stairs of our barrhaven townhouse. That time I cried like a baby and ended up completely detaching my pinky toenail. So now, in 2010 I fell down our Kemptville house stairs...with Max!

A few weeks ago I rented "The Blind Side". I absolutely loved it and got chills at the concept of protective instinct. I was heartwarmed When Michael put his arm across the airbag so SJ wouldn't get hurt, He truly saw them as family and with family, especially those younger, smaller and more vulnerable you do what you have to do to protect them.

I put this theory to test this morning and am happy to say that I have this thing called protective instinct.

As I was starting down the stairs with Max in tow like I do every morning, I thought to myself 'be careful'. I am always cautious but this morning I remember being overly cautious with each step. About half way down, I stepped too far forward on a step and wiped out. There is a blank in there but I remember after I came to a stop, seeing Max's head flop back, hearing him cry and i realized what had just happened. between the pain and the fear and the shock, I was a screaming, crying mess. Thankful Guy hadn't left for his business trip yet and he quickly came, scooped up Max and at my request, focused on him, rather than me.

I am happy to report that Max came out of this incident without a single bump or bruise. I on the otherhand have one heck of a sore tailbone because my protective instinct didn't let go of Max with either hand and therefore I had nothing to break my fall.

So 2 hours, post fall and I still have the shakes. When I think back to what happened I cry at how much worse this situation could have turned out. the idea of anything happening to your kids is truly a mothers worst nightmare. I think it is a chemical that enters your brain when you have kids that you would do anything to protect them at any cost.

So now I will say goodbye as I go ice my butt because I cannot even bend over and I am a single parent to two for the next three days. Wish me luck!

My dirty little secret...update

So my dirty littlr secret now is that I changed my mind! During my time of having Max on the bottle, I felt the need to tell my story to anyone who would listen. I wanted everyone to know that I wasn't bottle feeding by choice, or so I thought. But I think I was truly busy trying to convince myself that this change was necessary.

This past monday I went on a playdate. I saw nursing moms and bottle feeding moms. While I have nothing against bottle feeding moms, I just didn't feel like I belonged on that side of the fence. I pervertedly stared at the babies nursing with jealousy. that night I checked out Jack Newmans website for treatments of Thrush and again, looked at pictures of nursing babies with jealousy. It was at the moment I decided I wanted to try again. I wasn't ready to give up on something I was meant to do.

2 things made this decision possible, one being that I pumped occasionally and two being that I have abnormally effective boobs for milk production. So on tuesday, Max and I had a nursing vacation. I breastfed and pumped all day to help build up my supply. By wednesday I had enough milk again to feed him exclusively on the breast, by thursday he was so happy he gave me his first giggle and by friday he...are you ready for this... slept through the night!

But what about the problems that led me to quit in the first place? This is where I think every mommy, baby, big sister, and daddy needs an endless amount of patience.

I think one of my big problems was the fact that I never had to teach Anna how to nurse. She was a pro. I didn't have the patience I needed to help Max figure things out. I didn't have the patience to feed Max as often as he needed to be fed. and I didn't have the patience to deal with the terrerfic twos on so little sleep. I have entered this new phase with a different mind set.

Now I am not perfect and I still need sleep, So yes, I will supplement with formula as necessary to accomodate the fact that he is still a very hungry boy. I will also get upset at my two year old when she is pushing limits. but one thing I will not do EVER again is give up on my kids because things got tough.

So, here we go again. Wish me luck!

my dirty little secret

When I was a new mom with Anna and I would have friends having babies, the subject of feeding would always come up. I would ask if they planned on breastfeeding and would offer my 2 cents if the answer was "I am going to try". My opinion was that everyone can breastfeed. Its tough in the beginning but once you and baby learn how it is simple the best option. At the time I had a dream baby. After a rough 2 weeks in the beginning with cracked nipples and several night feeds, i ended up with a child that would eat while I walked around, would latch on in the dark with no effort and would go 4 hours between feeds. I didn't realize how close minded I was being.

So now, with baby number 2 here, I say that a very important tool for all new moms, and people in general to have, is the ability to have an open mind!

Max and Anna could not be more different and the biggest difference is how they feed. When Max was born he took to the breast right away. My milk came in not 24 hours after he was born and we were off. The beginning was rough but I kept telling myself it gets better. He was eating every hour around the clock. I was tired but I knew the end was near. When 2 weeks passed and he kept eating around the clock, I decided to seek the help of my doctor and a lactation consultant as it didn't seem right that he would need to eat so much. it turned out max had a tongue tie and he had no gusto in his suck. So after my milk would initially pour into his mouth, he would not get much more. His latch was so sensitive that if I so much as sneezed he would fall off. With enough milk to feed an orphanage, this would then mean that both he and I were soaked and he wouldn't want to wrap his little mouth around the waterfall again. We would work at it and then he would fall asleep. I would switch sides but after he was asleep he was done. So that's the end of the feed until an hour later when he woke up and said through his screaming cry "hey, I wasn't done". I needed to supplement with pumped milk in order to get some extra sleep and keep the demand up as his suck wasn't telling my boobs he needed what he actually needed. for the next 3 weeks, every feed was breast, pump, bottle. this would buy me an extra hour before I would do it again. He got his tongue tie snipped at 5 weeks and I hoped for the best but the best didn';t come. I cut out bottles to try and work on his latch and went exclusively to the beast again but at 10 weeks old, in a teary ball on the shower floor after yet another sleepless night, I said I was done! I gave max his next feed out of a bottle and he was happy for almost 4 hours! I realized then that my poor boy was miserable because he was always hungry!

So my dirty little secret is that i now feed my 2.5 month old formula. Yes I admit it! the proof is in the nasty green stinky poop. Now that I do something I secretly crucified other moms for doing, I have learned that having an open mind is a gift. I have no idea why people do what they do so who am I to judge. Society already throws it in my face that breast is best in commercials, magazine ads, on the side of the formula can, and even in infant apparel (note Max's shirt in the picture above) so i don't need anyone else telling me that I am giving my son second best. With this realization, I will never judge someone who decides to feed their child formula for whatever reason as I can only hope people won't judge me.

As a final note, I do wish i was breastfeeding. There are so many positives aside from the milk being the best most natural thing for baby. Formula is expensive and now that every member of my family is registered for the nestle gift I will have to start paying for it eventually, the poop is beyond nasty, and or course it involves preparing and washing bottles. For that I obviously suggest everyone give breastfeeding a good solid effort if they can. But ultimately my open mind says do whats best for your baby and for YOU!

the best things in life are FREE

So I have been telling you about the best products I have tried in my journey as a mom. But this week I have found the best product of all... Motivation!

I always said I was meant to be a working mom. I loved my daughter but I wanted to have my own space too. I have now been off work for 10 weeks and home with Anna for 5of them. I was worried about how this would go, if I would go crazy, if I would end up wanting to sell her to the cheapest bidder but it turns out I have learned a lot about myself and even more about her.

I have learned that I am way more patient with her than I thought. I have learned that I love playing play doh. I have learned that life without Annabelle is boring. I have also learned that I have the most polite, generous, well-mannered, intelligent little girl there is! She is also an amazing big sister. Just this morning I asked her to watch Max while I showered and I came out to see her rubbing his back because "Max Pleure"! (pardon the spelling, she is french, not me! yet another amazing thing about her)

When I passed her the timbits this morning and she gave me a very clear, direct "thank you mom" without me having to ask her, I almost cried with pride. When she takes her garbage to the garbage can without being asked or immediately after being asked, and when she clears her dinner plate to the counter when she is "All done" (said with a shake of the hands), when she shares her toys or returns a toy to a friend who isn't ready to share, when she grabs my face and plants a big kiss on my lips, and now when she says "Mommy I pee" to tell me she has to go to the potty, she makes me smile, makes me so happy, and makes my heart so big it could explode.

I see her develop each day and she amazes me! it makes the sleepless nights, the dirty diapers, the headaches from crying, all worth it.

This product...motivation... is the best product for any mom to have. I see her grow older everyday and it is true when they say they grow up before you know it. She has motivated me to work hard at being the best mom I can be each day and for that I thank her!

to leak or not to leak!

So as I mentioned in a previous post, my boobs produce enough milk to feed a hungry orphanage. While many new moms would love to have this problem, I loath it for I cannot stand the mess that comes along with producing so much milk.

This issue has allowed me to test a variety of brands of breast pads. And trust me if it was available to me, I tried it. On this new mom product, I definitely consider myself an expert.

Some losing brands I have tried were johnston and Johnston, Gerber, exact, and a variety of washable cloth pads. My complaints are that they all leak, they are all too small, to thick, some fall apart when they get wet, and they all shift. I have found one winner and one breast pad to which I will be loyal for all future pregnancies.

The winner is.... Lansinoh Breast Pads! a box of 60 is about $12.

these breast pads are large enough that they cover a larger set of twins, thin so that you don't look like you have giant red circles on your boobs, well constructed so as to never fall apart, and best of all, THEY NEVER LEAK!

So if you have leaky "girls", I strongly recommend the Lansinoh breast pads. No other brand even comes close to comparing!

A multi-purpose toy

Is a tiny rubber giraffe really worth $20? Many moms would say Yes. Sophie La Giraffe is worth the money. It is not just a toy, its a soother and teether, and if you let it, an expensive dog toy!

A rubber giraffe made with safe rubber and paint with the expectation that it will be used in babies mouths, Sophie has saved me many car trips as her long legs were easy for Anna to get into her mouth when the soother was lost somewhere. With her long neck, she is easy for babies to grab. Even now, at 2 years old, with the soother restricted to bed only, I have often caught Anna fullfilling her oral fixation on Sophies legs.

Again though, I reiterate, if you have a dog be careful as She looks just like a dog toy and your canine baby may get confused.

one answer to the endless baby laundry

WShen it comes to starting solids, there is no doubt that the floor, the highchair, the clothes and of course the baby will be very messy. Some parents chose to reserve a spot in the kitchen for a lifetime supply of bibs. one per meal, which then have to be washed and will likely end fully stained.

Enter...Mally Bibs!

When Annabelle was a baby, I overheard some ladies at the gym talking about Mally Bibs. I went home and googled them so that I could see what the deal was. Seemed like a pretty neat idea and so I bought one (Kiddytown $20ish).

Mally bibs are colourful and fashionable leather bibs. they come in infant and toddler sizes and many different designs. the appeal is that they wash clean after each meal and stick to the fridge with a magnet. So no more stack of cloth bibs, no more excessive food laundry, no more tying bibs on as they snap together by magnet. They also teach your child the independance of putting them on and taken them off by themselves, which I admit can be a bad thing :)

Another wonderful item, invented by a mom for moms!

Me vs. the crib.. I WIN

When Anna was little she was a big spitter, puker, pooper. Pretty much if it could make a mess, she did it. This meant that I was changing her crib sheet almost daily. I found this to be a rather time consuming pain in the butt task. Anna had 1 bumper pad across the back (to prevent soother loss) and a skirt under the mattress. lifting the mattress out to change the sheet, meant undoing the bumper pad and messing up the skirt, then I had to wrestle the mattress till the crib sheet fit and put everything back together. talk about breaking a sweat!

Then one day I was reading my monthly todays parent and I saw a product that I thought would make my life easier. I hummed and hawed as it was a bit expensive but ultimately I went ahead.

I ordered the Quickzip crib sheets! from a website called cloudsandstars.com.

This is a sheet set where you put the sheet on the mattress what seem upside down and the top of the sheet zips off for easy changing and washing. then you only actually need to remove the crib mattress once in a blue moon to wash the base as the baby doesn't contact it.

This product has made my life so much easier and baby Max gets his sheet changed a bit more frequently than baby Anna did. Oh well, she turned out fine :)

the only downfall is that to have it shipped to canada is highway robbery!

Got Milk?

I am now on week 3 of life with my second child. Week 3 of sleepless nights and endless breastfeeding. As with my first child, I have no shortage of milk. I often soak through breastpads, spray my child in the face and face painful engorgement if I miss a feed. I have been trying to pump as little as possible so as to not trick my body into thinking it needs to create more milk than I really need. Enter this pretty cool invention which I assume was created by a mom like me.

Milkies - Milk Saver!. I purchased it from the Extraordinary Baby Shoppe for $34.99.

This neat contraption sits in your bra over the breast you are not using during a feed. your nipple sits in the hole and all the leakage during let down is collected. Believe it or not, I collect on average 1-1.5 oz of milk each time.

The downfall I have discovered is that this may only be collecting foremilk and not the fatty hindmilk. So be sure to mix it with some pumped stuff before feeding.

However, even if you don't save the collected milk you will save on breastpads!