My "I will never list" with kudos to another blog.

A facebook friend and fellow mom recently posted this link on her page, I decided to give it a read and have since shared it with many mommies. Here is the link to their top 10 "oh now I get it moments"

http://www.rantsfrommommyland.com/2010/07/sgw-my-top-10-oh-now-i-get-it-moments.html

As I did, I am sure at least some of you will find yourself nodding and laughing as you read these. You will also, no doubted find yourself coming up with some of your own moments. This entry will share with you my "I will never list" which in turn has become my "oh now I get it list". I have embraced parenthood with the ability to accept the things i cannot change.

Here we go.

1. I will never let my child out of the house dirty or in unmatching clothes!

Basically when i found out I was having a girl, I had dreams of bows in her hair, beautiful dresses, and painted nails. she was going to be my real live doll. And she was...until she could move! Now if she leaves the house in weather appropriate clothes I am happy. She has left our house in pink and blue striped tights and an orange shirt with white polka dots. She went to a party in a pretty dress with a flannel pajama top as the cardigan. Should I at least be happy that she got the layering thing figured out? in the spring I hid her snow boots as she didn't understand or care that you don't wear snow boots without snow and one day during the 40 degree heatwave she found them and wore them on our evening walk. This wonderful sense of style goes hand in hand with the marker all over her arms and the pasta sauce or chocolate cookie that is all over her face that she often sports. But she is happy and for that I now get it.

2. I will never let my child play with stickers!

For those who know me, I hate stickers with a passion! I threw up at the metcalfe fair because someone stuck a sticker to me. Mind you I was pregnant but still I hate stickers! Everyone said I would never be able to keep Anna away from stickers but I thought if I I never introduce them to her she won't know what she is missing. I would even take them off the fruit as soon as they came in the house. What I didn't account for was friends and daycare and doctors offices and mean ole mommy friends who want to see me squirm! Now Anna loves stickers! But just because I have decided that her not throwing herself on the floor in a tantrum is worth a few stickers, I have not gotten over my issue. She once went to bed with a sticker on each hand and only woke up with one GASP! I tore her bed apart until I found the lost sticker because I was not going to be surprised by a gross disgusting dirty sticker in her bed. OK, so this is more my issue than a parenting thing. I am working on it!

3. I will never let my child throw a tantrum in a store!

I guess I thought because I was a child and youth worker with loads of experience caring for kids, I would magically have the best behaved, well mannered children to exist. I didn't account for the fact that children all have their own personalities that no amount of wonderful rolemodeling can change. My Anna loves to be silly. I have patience so I walk around the store following her while she is silly but when its time to go and she throws herself on the ground because I had to give the friggin rubbermaid bin to the cashier so she could scan it, I just went about my business and watched all the faces of the people around me who I know where thinking "my child will never do that". Oh ya, wait and see!


4 I will never make my people talk to my child on the phone!

I have talked to my neices, nephews, and friends kids on the phone and while I love them, I was ready for the call the end. I think moms think that everyone understands their kids the way they do and everyone finds them speaking cute. but its not true. Only moms and dads and maybe grandparents find it cute. Yet I still expose everyone who calls to my little Annabelles voice and I am blinded by my momminess because I still stand by the fact that everyone wants to talk to her!

So thats my contribution to this list. Considering I thought my life with kids would be a flawless fairytale I am sure there are many more things that could be added but I love life with my kids so much that I don't even remember or care about what I thought life would be like. it is what it is and I am embracing every moment.

stupid people make shopping with kids impossible!

When I was on Mat leave with Anna i often complained about the disrespectful people that would use the elevators when they dont have a stroller or disability. Even more annoying is when a mom takes her brood in the elevator and leaves no room for waiting strollers or wheelchairs. I got so annoyed over the year that I started voicing my beef with people, even getting in a verbal spat with a middle aged woman who was perfectly able to take the escalator. I mean seriously they are stairs that move, you don't even have to move your legs. How lazy are you. Once a woman in her 30's said to me after the 4th elevator passed (that I could not fit in because it was full of able bodied people) that she understood how i felt because she had a baby at home but then she and her husband who appeared to be in great shape, proceeded to enter the elevator. What part of "priority to strollers and wheelchairs" do these people not understand!

okay now that that is out of my system. Here is todays shopping beef! I now understand why priority parking exists for people with small children. Because we need space to romove car seats, strollers, kids, etc from our car. Today I discovered that since I can't let ignorance go unnoticed, I will always carry a pen and paper in my console. today a pen and tim hortons bag worked.

After a few hours shopping, I proceeded to my car to find that the Jack@#$ next to me parked so close I couldn't even walk between the cars, let alone open the door and put in a car seat. (See picture). To make this situation even dumber is the fact that there had to have been no way s/he could have gotten out of the drivers door unless they were abnormally small. the other side of their car had a post and they left about 4 feet of clearance. There was nothing I wanted more than for them to come out so I could give them a piece of my mind but i settled for the following note on their window.

"Thank you for parking so close that I had to leave my infant unattended while I moved my car out so i could put him in. Furthermore there is no way you got out of your car without hitting mine. I have taken down your license and will report any damage. Next time think before you park so stupidly signed: a disgruntled mom"

Maybe I was too harsh but man I am getting sick of ignorant people. For the record I did not leave Max unattended I struggled and put him in the car through the otherside, over the other carseat. Of course this resulted in waking him from his slumber and listening to crying for the next 10 minutes.

But it felt good to give a piece of my mind and it likely won't be the last time I do it.

To take care of herself!

Even before kids, I suffered from an annoying problem of my hair falling out. I mean I am not going to go bald or anything, but when I wash my hair it comes out in my hands and after i brush it I need to clean out my brush. This problem was only compounded when I got pregnant and my hormones started raging.

As a solution to this problem my mother in law told me she heard that Tre-semme shampoo does wonders for this issue. I decided to try it out. For the past year or so I have used Tre-Semme shampoo. I have used 2 different bottles and found a winner.

Tre-Semme Anti-breakage with B12 and Gelatin seriously, honestly, stops your hair from breaking or falling out, whatever may have been happening. I thought it was the Keratin in the shampoo that does the trick but they all have Keratin in them but only this bottle stops the problem.

So if you are faced with this problem either because you have kids or just because, try this shampoo. It takes a month or so to start working but tried and tested, I can tell you this shampoo will keep your hair where it belongs...on your head!

A Mothers Worst Nightmare!

We should have built a bungalow! Back in 2003 when I worked for Minto, I stupidly fell down the stairs of our office. when I landed at the bottom everyone panicked and wanted to call 911. i insisted I was fine but man did it ever hurt. In 2005 I stupidly fell down the wood stairs of our barrhaven townhouse. That time I cried like a baby and ended up completely detaching my pinky toenail. So now, in 2010 I fell down our Kemptville house stairs...with Max!

A few weeks ago I rented "The Blind Side". I absolutely loved it and got chills at the concept of protective instinct. I was heartwarmed When Michael put his arm across the airbag so SJ wouldn't get hurt, He truly saw them as family and with family, especially those younger, smaller and more vulnerable you do what you have to do to protect them.

I put this theory to test this morning and am happy to say that I have this thing called protective instinct.

As I was starting down the stairs with Max in tow like I do every morning, I thought to myself 'be careful'. I am always cautious but this morning I remember being overly cautious with each step. About half way down, I stepped too far forward on a step and wiped out. There is a blank in there but I remember after I came to a stop, seeing Max's head flop back, hearing him cry and i realized what had just happened. between the pain and the fear and the shock, I was a screaming, crying mess. Thankful Guy hadn't left for his business trip yet and he quickly came, scooped up Max and at my request, focused on him, rather than me.

I am happy to report that Max came out of this incident without a single bump or bruise. I on the otherhand have one heck of a sore tailbone because my protective instinct didn't let go of Max with either hand and therefore I had nothing to break my fall.

So 2 hours, post fall and I still have the shakes. When I think back to what happened I cry at how much worse this situation could have turned out. the idea of anything happening to your kids is truly a mothers worst nightmare. I think it is a chemical that enters your brain when you have kids that you would do anything to protect them at any cost.

So now I will say goodbye as I go ice my butt because I cannot even bend over and I am a single parent to two for the next three days. Wish me luck!

My dirty little secret...update

So my dirty littlr secret now is that I changed my mind! During my time of having Max on the bottle, I felt the need to tell my story to anyone who would listen. I wanted everyone to know that I wasn't bottle feeding by choice, or so I thought. But I think I was truly busy trying to convince myself that this change was necessary.

This past monday I went on a playdate. I saw nursing moms and bottle feeding moms. While I have nothing against bottle feeding moms, I just didn't feel like I belonged on that side of the fence. I pervertedly stared at the babies nursing with jealousy. that night I checked out Jack Newmans website for treatments of Thrush and again, looked at pictures of nursing babies with jealousy. It was at the moment I decided I wanted to try again. I wasn't ready to give up on something I was meant to do.

2 things made this decision possible, one being that I pumped occasionally and two being that I have abnormally effective boobs for milk production. So on tuesday, Max and I had a nursing vacation. I breastfed and pumped all day to help build up my supply. By wednesday I had enough milk again to feed him exclusively on the breast, by thursday he was so happy he gave me his first giggle and by friday he...are you ready for this... slept through the night!

But what about the problems that led me to quit in the first place? This is where I think every mommy, baby, big sister, and daddy needs an endless amount of patience.

I think one of my big problems was the fact that I never had to teach Anna how to nurse. She was a pro. I didn't have the patience I needed to help Max figure things out. I didn't have the patience to feed Max as often as he needed to be fed. and I didn't have the patience to deal with the terrerfic twos on so little sleep. I have entered this new phase with a different mind set.

Now I am not perfect and I still need sleep, So yes, I will supplement with formula as necessary to accomodate the fact that he is still a very hungry boy. I will also get upset at my two year old when she is pushing limits. but one thing I will not do EVER again is give up on my kids because things got tough.

So, here we go again. Wish me luck!

my dirty little secret

When I was a new mom with Anna and I would have friends having babies, the subject of feeding would always come up. I would ask if they planned on breastfeeding and would offer my 2 cents if the answer was "I am going to try". My opinion was that everyone can breastfeed. Its tough in the beginning but once you and baby learn how it is simple the best option. At the time I had a dream baby. After a rough 2 weeks in the beginning with cracked nipples and several night feeds, i ended up with a child that would eat while I walked around, would latch on in the dark with no effort and would go 4 hours between feeds. I didn't realize how close minded I was being.

So now, with baby number 2 here, I say that a very important tool for all new moms, and people in general to have, is the ability to have an open mind!

Max and Anna could not be more different and the biggest difference is how they feed. When Max was born he took to the breast right away. My milk came in not 24 hours after he was born and we were off. The beginning was rough but I kept telling myself it gets better. He was eating every hour around the clock. I was tired but I knew the end was near. When 2 weeks passed and he kept eating around the clock, I decided to seek the help of my doctor and a lactation consultant as it didn't seem right that he would need to eat so much. it turned out max had a tongue tie and he had no gusto in his suck. So after my milk would initially pour into his mouth, he would not get much more. His latch was so sensitive that if I so much as sneezed he would fall off. With enough milk to feed an orphanage, this would then mean that both he and I were soaked and he wouldn't want to wrap his little mouth around the waterfall again. We would work at it and then he would fall asleep. I would switch sides but after he was asleep he was done. So that's the end of the feed until an hour later when he woke up and said through his screaming cry "hey, I wasn't done". I needed to supplement with pumped milk in order to get some extra sleep and keep the demand up as his suck wasn't telling my boobs he needed what he actually needed. for the next 3 weeks, every feed was breast, pump, bottle. this would buy me an extra hour before I would do it again. He got his tongue tie snipped at 5 weeks and I hoped for the best but the best didn';t come. I cut out bottles to try and work on his latch and went exclusively to the beast again but at 10 weeks old, in a teary ball on the shower floor after yet another sleepless night, I said I was done! I gave max his next feed out of a bottle and he was happy for almost 4 hours! I realized then that my poor boy was miserable because he was always hungry!

So my dirty little secret is that i now feed my 2.5 month old formula. Yes I admit it! the proof is in the nasty green stinky poop. Now that I do something I secretly crucified other moms for doing, I have learned that having an open mind is a gift. I have no idea why people do what they do so who am I to judge. Society already throws it in my face that breast is best in commercials, magazine ads, on the side of the formula can, and even in infant apparel (note Max's shirt in the picture above) so i don't need anyone else telling me that I am giving my son second best. With this realization, I will never judge someone who decides to feed their child formula for whatever reason as I can only hope people won't judge me.

As a final note, I do wish i was breastfeeding. There are so many positives aside from the milk being the best most natural thing for baby. Formula is expensive and now that every member of my family is registered for the nestle gift I will have to start paying for it eventually, the poop is beyond nasty, and or course it involves preparing and washing bottles. For that I obviously suggest everyone give breastfeeding a good solid effort if they can. But ultimately my open mind says do whats best for your baby and for YOU!

the best things in life are FREE

So I have been telling you about the best products I have tried in my journey as a mom. But this week I have found the best product of all... Motivation!

I always said I was meant to be a working mom. I loved my daughter but I wanted to have my own space too. I have now been off work for 10 weeks and home with Anna for 5of them. I was worried about how this would go, if I would go crazy, if I would end up wanting to sell her to the cheapest bidder but it turns out I have learned a lot about myself and even more about her.

I have learned that I am way more patient with her than I thought. I have learned that I love playing play doh. I have learned that life without Annabelle is boring. I have also learned that I have the most polite, generous, well-mannered, intelligent little girl there is! She is also an amazing big sister. Just this morning I asked her to watch Max while I showered and I came out to see her rubbing his back because "Max Pleure"! (pardon the spelling, she is french, not me! yet another amazing thing about her)

When I passed her the timbits this morning and she gave me a very clear, direct "thank you mom" without me having to ask her, I almost cried with pride. When she takes her garbage to the garbage can without being asked or immediately after being asked, and when she clears her dinner plate to the counter when she is "All done" (said with a shake of the hands), when she shares her toys or returns a toy to a friend who isn't ready to share, when she grabs my face and plants a big kiss on my lips, and now when she says "Mommy I pee" to tell me she has to go to the potty, she makes me smile, makes me so happy, and makes my heart so big it could explode.

I see her develop each day and she amazes me! it makes the sleepless nights, the dirty diapers, the headaches from crying, all worth it.

This product...motivation... is the best product for any mom to have. I see her grow older everyday and it is true when they say they grow up before you know it. She has motivated me to work hard at being the best mom I can be each day and for that I thank her!