Tis the Season to be Grateful.

While looking at pictures today I found myself getting choked up because of how much I loved my kids. I was in awe that these 2 beautiful human beings belonged to me and that i get to wake up to their amazing faces and personalities everyday (and multiple times a night apparently)for the next 18 years (then they can just call me when they wake up).

Lately I have witnessed Anna's amazing, thoughtful, and polite personality. She is always quick to get her baby brother a toy, or a burp blanket when he so much as drools. At the end of nap time, I hear her in the monitor yelling from her door to Max's room " Max, I coming! I coming, Max". When I sit down to nurse Max, Anna runs around getting me everything I need including my Iphone and a bur blanpket and then monitors Max's eating, making sure to push him back on if he lets go for any reason. Between helping Max and Helping Mommy, Our family is truly lucky to have such a wonderful little girl.

She is also my little parrot! As do most 2 year olds I am sure, she takes note of everything and then copies or repeats it in the cutest way. My term of endearment for Max is buddy and the other day as I was preparing Max's supper, he was sitting in his highchair letting me know that i needed to hurry up in the only way he knows how, with tears. Anna quickly ran over to him, brought him a toy and said "its Okay Buddy" over and over again. When she is not needed to sooth Max as he waits for his food she is in the kitchen getting a spoon for Max, or everyone for that matter, and setting the table for supper. I never taught me 2 year old to set the table yet she does it so well and without prompting.

A few weeks back, we had a bridal shower for my cousin and Anna and her little cousin Emmy sat down to eat their cake at the kids table in the toy room. Emmy's mom, my cousin Krista, sat on the floor in there to eat with them because the other chairs were all in the living room. Anna surveyed the situation and without any prompting Anna went into the other room and carried a chair back to the toy room for Krista. Yet another example of my thoughtful little girl.

This whole post was brought to light after a very busy holiday weekend. Yesterday evening we hosted my coworkers and their families for a holiday dinner. Usually a bit shy, I prepped Anna for the arrival of other kids. it turned out she was an amazing host. She showed the kids to her toy room, and took a younger guest under her wing. When everyone was leaving she very loudly shouted "Thank you for coming, Merry Christmas". Today was much the same as we attended another Christmas party. We were slightly afraid considering she went to bed at 10pm last night and missed nap today. Yet the day was completed at 7:30pm with no tears and lots of smiles.

So as the Christmas Season progresses I am reminded that I have already gotten the best gift of all; 2 beautiful children, inside and out.


PS: When I ask Anna what she wants Santa to bring her, she answers with Gusto "PRESENT"! Santa, if you read this, she has been a very good girl and she isn't even picky!

What are the odds.

This is just a quick story that I was reminded about and thought was worth sharing. It is proof that a) it really is a small world and b)...weirdness can happen.

When i gave birth to Annabelle, I had a joint room in the mom and baby unit while I waited for a private room. I had no idea who my roommate was as we both kept the curtains closed. However, I had some dear friends from high school visit me who recognized her as a girl we went to high school with. It appears we gave birth on the same day and then shared a room. interesting coincidence.

We had our first kids on the same day.

I ran into this girl in Ikea about a month ago. She was someone that in high school I don't think I ever spoke to because we were in different grades and ran with different social circles. However, given the interesting coincidence of before I figured I would say hello. We got to talking and realized that we each had a second child less than a week apart. Another interesting coincidence.

Our second kids, born less than a week apart, are both boys named Max.

huhhh, what are the odds.

To Cry or Not to Sleep...that is the question

As many of you know I have been battling some serious sleep issues in this house. When Max was a newborn I had never experienced such sleep deprivation in my life. for the first 10 weeks of his wee life he got up every hour through the night. As you all know from a few months back at that time I gave up on breast feeding and thought switching to formula would make the difference but it didn't and I was unhappy with our new situation. I switched back to breast feeding and to my surprise he started sleeping through the night. This lasted about a month. At which time, Mr Max started getting up for a couple feeds at night.

Since Max started getting up for night feeds, he has been totally unpredictable. He usually fed twice but sometimes he would feed more. I read books and discussed sleep training with other parents and eventually decided that I would not be doing any sleep training. I would give my sweet baby boy his night feeds as long as he needed them. I was functioning fine with a few nightly interruptions and I had been told that he would eventually just not need them. I was going to let him be my baby as long as he needed.

About 2 weeks ago, everything changed. We now know that everything changed when we took the guest bed out of Max's room and replaced it with a glider. He started getting up more than usual but still not enough for me to change my mind about sleep training. I read a book called Sleep Sense and bought Max a special lovey for his bed and started waiting a few minutes before going to see him at night, I even tried giving him formula before bed. I was going to try and help him cut out his night feeds without cutting him off cold turkey. However, things have progressively gotten worse and everything i thought I knew has gone out the window.

Max cut a tooth 2 weeks ago. He had a terrible night and woke up with a tooth. since then he has gotten up every hour for the entire night. I put him down between 7 and 8 and he is awake again starting at 9:45. When Anna cut her first tooth she went from sleeping through the night to getting up multiple times a night for four months until we finally let her Cry it out. But the difference between Anna and Max is that Anna was easily changed. One tooth and she got up at the same time every single night until One night of crying and she never got us up at night again. Max, on the other had, is so unpredictable. So again, i decided I would wait it out. He had to get over it soon. I have since learned that they may not be as different as i thought. Max had created a habit. Sometimes He doesn't even want to eat, he simply wants to be rocked in his new glider.

In the past week, I have had some of the worst nights ever. I have kicked guy out of bed so max could sleep with me, I have tried Camilia for his teeth, Hydrasense for his stuffy nose, Advil for whatever it is suppose to do. One night max stayed awake until 3 am and then when he finally fell asleep it only lasted 1.5 hours before he was a screaming mess.

So this is where I must decide; to Cry or Not to Sleep! Max has always known how to put himself to sleep. He has always gone to bed at night and at nap awake and always fell asleep peacefully on his own. So I know he can do it. Last night I was out when Max woke for the first time at 10pm. Guy tried consoling him but eventually he left him and hopped in the shower. By the time he got out, Max was asleep again. Hmmmm....maybe this can be done. We next heard from Max at 1am and I decided to give it a try. he put himself back to sleep in less than half an hour before so lets see what happens. So Please, hold your judgement and don't hate me, but Max cried for over an hour. I went in and soothed him (without picking him up), gave him a soother and told him how much i loved him and how sorry I was but he did put himself back to sleep and he slept till 5am at which point I happily nursed him and rocked him.

So there you have it. When it comes to parenting, nothing is cut and dry or black and white. Much like with a birth plans, things can change and throw a wrench in your perfect plans. Not to say listening to Max cry was easy, it was very hard to know how unhappy my baby boy was so lets just hope that Mr Max is as easily trained as Anna.

Impaired Posting

Guy has always told me that I share too much on facebook. Sometimes I agree and sometimes I don't. As a result of his opinion I have ensured my privacy settings are up to date so that only my "friends" can see what I write and I even disables my wall so that all my messages from people have to be private. But lately it seems I cannot stop sharing. I go to a playgroup and am welcomed with "Oh things haven't been going so well for you" What? Oh ya, facebook! Facebook has provided me with an outlet to share, but has therefore taken away the joy of a face to face conversation about something that nobody knows. Because I share what seems like....everything.

As I reflect on my sleeping troubles of late, I wondered why nobody else seems to have these troubles or atleast feels the need to share them and update them ever hour or 2. Do I share to much? Am I making people think my life is terrible? what is so different about my parenting situation. It dawned on me why everyone elses children seem to sleep all night and mine don't. Everyone else doesn't take facebook into the nursery with them at 2, 3, 4 am. I do a lot of "impaired posting". Ahhhh. the wonders of the Iphone. You can take your "friends" into your midnight feeds with you. I then share my stress and troubles immediately. If I didn't have my Iphone with me at that moment, I am sure the feelings would pass and my morning status update would be much more positive. I check out everyones updates and if its a really long night, I feel the need to update everyone on every second of my terrible night. Why should I do it alone when my cyber friends can be with me. Some even talk back right away. thats a treat. It usual means they take their "friends" with them everywhere too. Did you know I take my cyber friends with me to the bathroom too. thats how my Iphone ended up being dropped in the toilet. These days it seems my Iphone is like my right hand, I can't go anywhere without it, I even updated facebook less than an hour after Max was born and before I had even left the delivery room.

And who are these Cyber friends I take with me to my most personal places? I have 328 friends on facebook right now. Since I joined in 2007, I have unfriended many and been unfriended. I have re-freinded some out of curiosity and then unfriended them again. Of those 328 current friends I have, I think it is safe to say that I would, without facebook, talk to less than 30 of them ever and less than 10 of them regularily. My life would be lonely without facebook. My midnight feeds would consist of countless games of solitaire and angry birds. But instead I have a world of support that I wouldn't have without facebook. I have my regulars who always offer me stories, suggestions, advice, and encouragement. Some ladies that I met briefly in passing and others that I went to High school with but barely talked too and of course my dear friends that make up the 10 I spoke about earlier have become my support network through my mommy struggles.

So if I share too much, I am sorry. Impaired posting is as bad as drunk texting. in the morning I sometimes regret putting the vibe out there that I hate my life. I don't, I just hate being up multiple times a night. I need to be more positive and I need to control my impaired posting!

Shoe Shopping Troubles.

So I learned this week that you need to buy winter boots for your toddler in August. A trip to Kiddie Kobbler prooved a waste of time as buying boots in December is impossible. Not a single pair in her size. Luckily a friend told me about www.tinysoles.com. Not only were they fully stocked but also signifigantly cheaper than here. With the dollar near par and free shipping, you can't lose. The website even has a sizing chart you can print out. but with free shipping you can expect a delay of weeks so if you are like me a waiting till december you may have to bump up to priority shipping. Oops :(

So if you have a infant or toddler, check it out. Thanks Andrea for saving my daughters winter!

2.5 going on 12!

My baby girl is growing up before my eyes! I watch her in awe as she behaves in what I think is well beyond her years. She takes colouring so seriously that she concentrates so hard I have to remind her to eat her snack. Snack is a bowl of tostitoes and a cup of milk. Seriously, when did my 2.5 year old start lying on her belly with her ankles crossed colouring and casually munching on chips! Where did my baby go?

Recently Anna has taken to using my tactics against me. When it was time for bed but she wanted to watch Dora or Pooh, I would tell her they were gone DODO's. Then when pre-school started in September and she didn't want to go see Natasha (the teacher), she very seriously told me "Tata Dodo's! (Side bar: now when she is mad at me she cries out for Tata. complete 360 in 3 months.)

I have also been using the counting method to get her to listen. You know, you have till 5 to pick up your toys...followed by a timeout. I was shocked when after her nap today she yelled into the monitor "mommy come get me" She then proceeded to count to 5 and then yelled "time out". How do you not Laugh your A$$ off at that!

The Power of Words

I love music! I love music I can sing to, dance to, and most of all relate to.

There are numerous songs out there I love and that I when I listen to them I think they were written for me (not for real real). but a few are on my ipod as comfort songs that I listen to when I need to remember someone or something or when I just need to escape to the past or a favorite memory. Such songs include "The house that built me" by Miranda Lambert, and "Brand New Day" by Joshua Radin. "Tough Little boys" by Gary Allen which is how I always felt about my dad and of course "feels like Home" by Chantal Kreviazuk, which was the song I walked down the aisle to because it expressed how I felt perfectly. These are songs I often play on repeat.

But a few have "hit home" more than others...

I remember driving to work only a few months after my dad passed away and I heard Crystal Shawanda's "You can Let go now", I instantly thought it was a beautiful song and was sad that i would not get to use it as my father daughter song for my wedding. Then the song got to the third verse and I was transformed into a bawling mess. Not quite the father daughter song I initially thought it was. However, It turned out to be exactly the most perfect song for me to relate to. It seemed as though the writer was in the room the night my dad passed away. If you want to know what went down that night, listen to this song.

Most recently and what sparked me to write this post was my introduction to Brad Paisley "Anything Like Me". I listen to this song and initially I wondered if Max would be like my husband, Guy. Oiy! From the stories I have heard I will have my hands full. But this song also got me thinking as I interact with Annabelle. When Anna gives me attitude or is 'mean' to me. I feel so terrible because a)she's my baby and b)I now know how my mom felt. I know everyone says that you will understand and appreciate your mom so much better once you become a mom yourself and I have to say that if Anna is anything like me then I need to climb a mountain and shout to the world my apology to my mom. I wasn't, and am still not, the easiest daughter. Mom, if you read this far, I promise to do better. I love you! I realize Anna is like me, and I am more like you than i ever imagined I would be.

I watch TV to escape my life and live vicariously through others. I listen to music to embrace my life and relive special aspects of it on repeat!