Sleep Learning

So you all probably want to know how Max's sleep learning is going. I have to say it has been a wonderful experience for me as I am learning so much about myself, Max, and parenting all together. I WISH I HAD READ THIS BOOK SOONER as it's about so much more than just sleeping!

My favorite paragraph in the book so far is this: "There are times in the course of your child's growth and development when he will be attempting to learn an important new skill and he'll feel some frustration in the process of that learning. Take crawling as an example. When children are on the brink of crawling, they often rock back and forth on their hands and knees, trying to get to a toy that's just out of reach. The baby cries and complains out of frustration. what's your first temptation? scoot the toy closer, or course, so he won't have to struggle. But what has he missed if you do this? an opportunity to feel a bit of frustration...which then leads to an idea:'well, maybe if I move my knee a little closer to my hand, I can reach my hand farther.' BINGO! Whether your child is learning to walk, tie a shoe, ride a bike, or do math homework, each time your child struggles, it's going to be tempting to jump in and rescue him. But when you do this, you are actually preventing him from learning for himself what he can do to alleviate his frustration - in other words, learning the skill that will help him grow and develop as a human being."

This was the first time I have ever formally started and followed something through in an attempt to improve anything in my parenting. I always thought I would rather take my chances that I may get to sleep all night or that it would be easier to just get him back to sleep and get what sleep I can get. I didn't realize how worth it it would be to buckle down for a few nights to help us both sleep better and be happier.

So here is how it went:

night one (Monday). Unfortunately this night got off to a bad start as I had to go out for a commitment at the preschool and I am always the one to put Max to bed. So making changes to this bedtime routine was going to be tough. However, Guy put Max into his bed awake, which he is usually OK with, but without mommy there, Max had a meltdown. He was inconsolable for about 40 minutes when he finally fell asleep. Max then got up at 1am. I went in after 5 minutes and checked in on him. of course, seeing me and me not picking him up as I usually do made him very angry. I then did my check in's every 10 minutes until he finally fell asleep 40 minutes later. At my second to last check in, I moved the fan from Anna's room into his for white noise. This may have worked :). I then set my alarm clock for 3am and went in to give him his bottle (5 ounces) but he refused it so I put him back to bed and didn't hear from him again until 7:30am. So to recap: one wake up, 40 minutes of self soothing with lots of tears, no night snack!

night two (Tuesday). Tonight I decided to move his bedtime routine to his room while Anna had special time with daddy in the basement. I read Max some stories, gave him his bottle, and talked to him about what we were going to do tonight. I then put him in his bed WIDE awake. He rolled over and took a few minutes (with no tears) to settle but he was eventually out like a light. I then didn't hear from him until 2:20am. He whined for about 30 minutes but because he wasn't really crying, I didn't check in on him because I know that would have really upset him. I actually even fell back asleep while he was still awake. My alarm then went off at 3am and while I was making his bottle I realized he was still awake. I went back to bed and waited for him to fall back asleep. When i was sure he was asleep I went in and gave him his bottle. He drank it (4 ounces) and went back to his bed until 7:30am. So to recap: one wake up, 40 minutes of self soothing with minimal tears and no check in's, one night snack!

night three (Wednesday). Bedtime routine was same as last night but I could tell he wasn't as happy. When i put him down he protested for about 5 minutes and then rolled over and went to sleep. I messed up tonight. I forgot to set my alarm clock for 3am for his bottle and he slept all the way through until 4am when he wanted it. Unfortunately in order to maintain consistency I had to wait until he fell back asleep before I could give it to him so as to not send him mixed messages. This seemed like forever but was actually only about 10 minutes. However, he was not fully asleep and woke when i entered his room. I gave him the bottle anyways and am desperately hoping I didn't ruin the progress we made so far. So to recap: no wake ups until 4am (bc I was silly and forgot to set my alarm), one night snack! Had I not forgot my alarm we would have had a perfect night on the routine.

night four (Thursday). Bedtime routine was same as last night. When put in his bed, Max protested for a minute or two but then quickly fell asleep. I set my alarm clock for 3am fed Max his 4oz bottle and then didn't hear from him again until 7:30. a perfect night for Max. Now if only Anna had not gotten up twice.

night five (Friday). bedtime routine same as night before with a small protest. I ended up waking up because of Anna and my stuffy nose and I heard that Max was awake. He never cried but I could hear him awake for a while. Max cried a but around 2:30 but quickly fell asleep. I set my alarm for 3am, fed him is 3oz bottle and we both went back to sleep.

I was hoping that I could now tell you that he sleeps through the night. end of story. Unfortunately Max is more complicated than that. He also woke up this morning with a cold and so far, as of 8:30pm tonight, has woken up crying 3 times. Therefore I assume tonight will be a giant step backwards.

But we'll see. Maybe he'll surprise me!