My dirty little secret...update

So my dirty littlr secret now is that I changed my mind! During my time of having Max on the bottle, I felt the need to tell my story to anyone who would listen. I wanted everyone to know that I wasn't bottle feeding by choice, or so I thought. But I think I was truly busy trying to convince myself that this change was necessary.

This past monday I went on a playdate. I saw nursing moms and bottle feeding moms. While I have nothing against bottle feeding moms, I just didn't feel like I belonged on that side of the fence. I pervertedly stared at the babies nursing with jealousy. that night I checked out Jack Newmans website for treatments of Thrush and again, looked at pictures of nursing babies with jealousy. It was at the moment I decided I wanted to try again. I wasn't ready to give up on something I was meant to do.

2 things made this decision possible, one being that I pumped occasionally and two being that I have abnormally effective boobs for milk production. So on tuesday, Max and I had a nursing vacation. I breastfed and pumped all day to help build up my supply. By wednesday I had enough milk again to feed him exclusively on the breast, by thursday he was so happy he gave me his first giggle and by friday he...are you ready for this... slept through the night!

But what about the problems that led me to quit in the first place? This is where I think every mommy, baby, big sister, and daddy needs an endless amount of patience.

I think one of my big problems was the fact that I never had to teach Anna how to nurse. She was a pro. I didn't have the patience I needed to help Max figure things out. I didn't have the patience to feed Max as often as he needed to be fed. and I didn't have the patience to deal with the terrerfic twos on so little sleep. I have entered this new phase with a different mind set.

Now I am not perfect and I still need sleep, So yes, I will supplement with formula as necessary to accomodate the fact that he is still a very hungry boy. I will also get upset at my two year old when she is pushing limits. but one thing I will not do EVER again is give up on my kids because things got tough.

So, here we go again. Wish me luck!