Monday, May 7, 2012

My New Reality

Being on mat leave with my first baby was essentially a vacation... but I didn't know it! we snuggled in front of the tv for hours on end, slept as much as we wanted, We went shopping with friends, I kept a clean house, made dinner every day, baked regularily and my playdates actually reflected the old tostitoes commercial.

Being on Mat leave with my second baby and a toddler was much more work. My house was messy, any tv I watched was from treehouse, I went to the mall just to check out the pet shop and toy store, dinner was often not made and my playdates catered to the toddler not the baby. I basically looked back at my first mat leave and realized what a cake walk it was.

I have now completed week one of mat leave with my third baby and a toddler and a preschooler and now looking back I realize that my second mat leave was also a pretty easy year.

So let me tell you about my new reality...

Baby 3 was born on April 15th. the toddler and preschooler were in daycare until April 30th. I used these first 15 days to catch up on sleep, get breastfeeding under control and bond with my new babe. I dreaded May 1. Not because I didn't want to spent time with my other 2 kids but because I was scared of how I was going to do it.

Day one was a challenge. After we got up, the older 2 wanted to eat breakfast and of course the sound of the word breakfast woke up the baby who also decided it was time to eat. While I fed the baby, I watched the other 2 fight and beg for food. When we finally made it downstairs well after 9am and got fed, I had to get use to having a house that was constantly being messed by a toddler and a preschooler playing rather than a house that was only occupied for 4ish hours a day. We needed some groceries but I was too scared (and still am) to take all three to the store. The weather was not play-outside-for-hours nice so we all stayed cooped up inside getting use to the new routine. Needless to say by the end of the day I had demonstrated several mean mommy moments and was both angry with the kids and myself for all of our lack of patience.

Getting use to this new reality has not been easy.

my toddler boy is headstrong and determined. trying to teach him what he can and cannot do has proven to be my biggest challange. I am learning that he cries a lot because he wants what he wants and he wanted it 5 minutes ago. I guess this is what is called the terrible two's? I am getting use to the crying and he is starting to do it much less because I have decided that I will take the crying if it teaches him what I will put up with and what I won't. For example. He wants to come down stairs and then when I go up to get him he changes his mind and on this goes for several trips up the stairs. Well, too bad, you wanted to come down so I am bringing you down and you can cry it out. He also has aspirations of being a stunt man. He likes to stand on the counter stools, walk down stairs properly and unassisteed and start physical fights with his big sister. I will be surprised if we make it through the next year without stitches. Last week, I was so frustrated with him. He was my "problem child"! but after one night lying in bed thinking about it I realized he is just a toddler and a boy! I am not use to what he has to offer me and if I work with him instead of against him then I think we will both be okay. And he is stinkin' cute which outweighs all the grey hairs he will give me.

My preschooler misses her friends and her daycare environment. She is so use to the routine and the constant stimulation that I am learning I need to have something planned for her everyday. She also no longer naps therefore requiring extra stimulation when I would rather be having me time. I am, however, enjoying my time with her because in September its off to Kindergarten (tear tear)

And then there is the baby. My sweet baby girl who is totally a thrid child. She has had phones and rubber boots dropped on her head. She has been cut off from a feed so I could lift the toddler into the swing and she is basically a fixture in the room while I cater to the needs of the other two. But she is my baby,my last baby and she is growing way too fast. I cherish our evening snuggles and midnight feeds because it is so rare for us to have any special time. I think it is safe to say she will always be my baby.

So there it is. I would never tell someone that there situation is something it is not but if you are home with baby number one and plan on having baby number two and possibly baby number three, enjoy it because you will never have a mat leave like this one again.

Stay tuned for what this next year has to offer. I am sure I will share stories of success, injury, stress, and drama. And I cannot wait!